Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I am crying as I am typing this.You see i had to end a friendship today.In fact,several people wont be hearing from me anymore.Why? Because they were not there on May 22nd,2009 and they are always telling me to change the subject.At the present time I am not seeing a therapist...this is because Washington has had budget cuts and i was even cut off of Medicaid.There are certain ser vices that Medicare will not pay off.A good therapist is one of them.Right now...I am so confused and I try to be so nice.I cannot hide the pain that is inside of me.This pain increases almost every day.I write about it in my journal.I have several journals now.Now these people think even talking about Brads death is a waste of time.And I am so sorry if it.Brad and i were together for 12 years.He can clean and sober for 5.Then Brad began to change.You see Brad became hooked on crystal meth and for 3 years..I tried to get him help.I tried.The fights and the screaming I will never forget.Crystal Meth destroyed Brad.But it will not destroy me as I hate all drugs and will never and i mean never try them.If a person was there and things would be so different.But I am the one who found Brads lifetless body.Brad did not die of a drug overdose.Brad my Brad committed suicide.It was a gruesome scene.It took me 2 years to clean up the blood.And who the hell is anyone to tell me to forget? I am a suicide survivor.I want answers.However,certain people thing and still think
that Brads death was my fault.It wasnt.Brad choose drugs.I have chosen life.I have chosen to lead a postive life and sing whenver I can and try to volunteer to a homelss shelter and tell my story to who ever listens.Maybe I wont be able to change any life..but I want people to listen.ANd here is my message..do not try meth under any circumstances.Because it will hurt you and kill you...like ti did Brad.Thanks for listening Vader.
that Brads death was my fault.It wasnt.Brad choose drugs.I have chosen life.I have chosen to lead a postive life and sing whenver I can and try to volunteer to a homelss shelter and tell my story to who ever listens.Maybe I wont be able to change any life..but I want people to listen.ANd here is my message..do not try meth under any circumstances.Because it will hurt you and kill you...like ti did Brad.Thanks for listening Vader.
I sense your intense anxiety and grief. I have lost two friends to alcoholism and meth. It is a strange thing that happens to us. We have all the seven dwarfs of emotion: guilt, sadness, loss, self-hatred, other-hatred, feelings that we can't go forward, feelings that we could have done something, anything, to make it better. Those feelings, while extremely agonizing, are not, to me, always the absolute truth. If you rewind a movie, it will still have the same ending. Usually people who use drugs like this are sensitive, brilliant, intelligent, loving people who don't know how to deal with something that is eating them alive. Being in Brad's life late, whatever it was most likely happened in his childhood. I pray that you can, with some serious help from God, forget the terrible imagery from what you saw. I cannot imagine. Friends cannot possibly understand what you feel because very few people have ever been through what you have been through. If you think about it, someone has to have it the worst. It might actually be you. With that said, I hope you have people in your life that love you and are kind to you. I wish I could give you a big hug and a cup of coffee and a sympathetic ear. You are in my thoughts and prayers.