It has almost been 3 years since my brother was killed and I can say that I'm in a much diferent place than I was that first year. Asher would be 23 this year. I was looking at some of his kid pictures this week and couldn't help but to smile. He was such a funny guy, always had some kinda crazy joke for us and like a monthly phrase that he and my youngest brother would use. It sucks that he isn't here to share a laugh with anymore; he could easily lighten anyone's mood. But as I looked at his pictures, I noticed how much my youngest son, who is almost 2, looks like him. They share a remarkable resemblence in physical features and energy. I know some people won't understand this, but for me, it feels like my dear brother Asher has returned. Of course I know my son isn't going to be exactly like Asher, and I would never force that on him, but I will be sure to give him as much guidance and nutruting as I can so that he can complete his life's purpose this time. I think this realization has helped me to cope better with his loss than some of my other family members, but I can't speak on their behalf as I'm not them.
Part of my reasoning for joining this group though is that there are some moments when I talk to others about him in person where I just start crying. It hasn't happened for a few months, but it's somewhat embarassing when that does happen. It's never in the same context when I cry while talking about Asher, so I'm not really sure if there's a certain trigger. Does anyone have any suggestions or experience with this?
Leora