Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I've been a member here for several years but haven't posted in awhile. Nothing is new - After 5 1/2 years, I'm still grieving. But I'm trying to eliminate paperwork. I can't / won't do so with my Dad's, since his Will was never executed - out of my hands, since I wasn't an Executor.
But Mama's papers - old bills, tax forms, health items...I have a hard time shredding but trying to move on - at least in that area. I have to eliminate nonessentials.
Is anyone having same problem, and how long has it taken? How long do you recommend keeping: tax forms; paid bills; you name it - I've got it, and I can't figure out which ones are important to keep. I have old tax forms ready for shredding --- but no matter the items, it's hard to "shred Mama", so to speak. I'm talking YEARS' worth of papers.
Any suggestions ???? Thanks.
But Mama's papers - old bills, tax forms, health items...I have a hard time shredding but trying to move on - at least in that area. I have to eliminate nonessentials.
Is anyone having same problem, and how long has it taken? How long do you recommend keeping: tax forms; paid bills; you name it - I've got it, and I can't figure out which ones are important to keep. I have old tax forms ready for shredding --- but no matter the items, it's hard to "shred Mama", so to speak. I'm talking YEARS' worth of papers.
Any suggestions ???? Thanks.
A few weeks ago I was watching the show hoarders and on that particular episode it was a woman who just could not bear to throw anything away turns out she was trapped in her grieving of the loss of her loved one and never was able to move forward. Well last week was the start of this process for me and I did feel better after it was done courage is what we need to follow through and another third I discovered I began to have nice memories of the motorhome after it was gone and no emotional pain. I still have more to do but this was a major break through an I realize that it is more healthy to set these things free then keep them in bondage my bondage.
Thanks, for sharing the motorhome story. I've always been VERY sentimental, so the fear of parting with anything is crippling emotionally. It's not clutter - it's Mama's. The paperwork becomes clutter and is the important issue for any legal reasons or proof of whatever in the future. (???) But I've wondered what time element there is in saving paperwork.
Yes, I've seen "hoarders" TV show, and while I have that issue even with my OWN items and am trying to eliminate things, Mama's possessions are another story. Months before she died, she simply said one day, "Wear my clothes." She must have known she was going, and it seemed she was bequeathing them to me. Having worked in the fashion industry, she made her clothes - even hats. But we weren't same size, so I've worn only a few coats, gloves and nightgowns. I sleep in her room but can't remove her clothes from the closet. (I go to my old bedroom for my clothes and have only recently moved some things.) Can't remove her hats - too small for me - but they were her "essence", so, they sit on a chair. How strangely sentimental can we be?
Many thanks for sharing your suggestions / experiences.
When I spoke about the hoarders show did not imply to focus on the hoarding but rather the behavior of clinging on to those things for emotional reasons its a way for us to feel like they are still with us and the emotional security we feel that they give to us. When the motor home was finally gone I will tell you emotionally I was stuck to it because it represented my father and the love he had of traveling I thought as long as we did not do any changes it would not disrupt the invironment of security we had by looking and keeping his things. I still have many more things to do in donating his clothes to the good will and cleaning out his office that still remains as it was when he was alive every now and then I am able to shred a piece of paper but giving the motor home away has given me the courage and strength to continue and work though this I am in outraged that I will be able to say good by to my father and know that he too would want me too.