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There are people that we live far away from and usually only hear from at Christmas time. Does anyone have suggestions on how to inform these people who have not yet heard of the death of our daughter?
First off I am so sorry for the loss of your darling daughter. Reading your post reminded me of something so difficult my cousin had to deal with after the sudden loss of her Mom. Even 2/3 yrs later she will still find a letter or card in the post, mostly at Christmas time.
The first Christmas she simply could not deal with this at all and had no idea how to deal with it, what to do, what to say.
The second year I think she simply sent those people a card letting them know what had happened.
Dealing with holidays, in addition to the pain surrounding the loss of your daughter is beyond difficult I'm sure. It's so hard to know what to do and how to inform people. I think perhaps sending them a card might be easiest for yourselves rather than making a phonecall.
These are only suggestions to you, just do whatever is most "comfortable" for yourselves and whatever is the "easiest" way for you to do this.
again, I am so sorry and your photo on your profile is beautiful,
((hugs)))
My grandmother simply said in their Christmas letter; "our hearts will never be the same" and had a picture of my Mom.
For me I just needed to get through the season, since anything I wrote didn't seem appropriate. I tried "As many of you know (details)" and then I expressed my gratitude for their support. But for me that didn't work, not sure if that would work for you.
I am not sure if you have mutual friends that could deliver the news - my best friend did that for me right after the accident.
Whatever you do - don't feel like you "have" to do anything. Just be kind to yourself.
Blessings to you and your family.
Laurie
As for the holidays, some customs are such (as my mother had taught me) that you don't send cards the first Christmas - perhaps if the loss was closer to the holiday season. My mother died in September of 2007 - that first year I kept Christmas to a minimum - just putting up Nativity settings within the house - but I don't think I put up the tree. I also think I kept cards to a minimum. People who know of your loss should understand.
But for those who are unaware of your loss, perhaps a reciprocal card or note to them advising them - will be sufficient. I did that for out-of-area friends. Sadly, I don't recall their responding with condolences though (I could be wrong) -- and that hurt. The first holiday season is so difficult - there's such a hole in our lives - we should all learn to be supportive when friends are mourning loved ones at that time of year.
When my sisters live ended so suddenly and unexpectedly last September, we had to endure the same thing. Even though her death was well publicized, there were still many people that didn't know. What my niece did...when she got Christmas cards for her mother, she wrote a brief note letting the people know. It was hard for my niece to do, but she knew she needed to let these people know. In return, she was showered with so much sympathy and love.
The holidays are tough. Last year, two of my great nieces insisted on coming over and putting my tree up. This year, I have a new grandson, my first, so in his honor I will put a small tree up. I only want to spend the holidays with my children and my grandson and my Mother. I'm not into big events anymore.
Hope this helped to some degree. You may want to enlist a good friend to help you respond to those who don't know about your loss. Bless you
S
When I lost my husband I wrote a short note explaining what had happened and put it inside the Christmas cards which I posted a bit earlier than usual so that people would know before they sent their own card out to me.
I am so sorry you are having to go through this pain, like no other. Another thing we did was to change up our Christmas plans.
Best wishes to you.
When my aunt died i took her address book and wrote a note to everyone in it. I pretty much knew who each person was in her life so could tailor the note to that, but kept it pretty short. It was one way of doing something I thought she would want done,
Most importantly, I think you need t search your heart for what it is you want. Do you want a note , handwritten, something typed like a service front/ whatever YOU want ,,,,,then decide who would do this ///you///a group of your friends...a special friend. do you want to do it with a friend, again, whatever you want and need.