Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
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Unexpected loss

orilliakern
orilliakern

I'm new to this website but my sister recommended it to me. I recently lost one someone I was in charge of to suicide and it has been bothering me a lot. His funeral was just the other day and I couldn't even bare to go into the funeral home for the first hour I was there. I do not know why he didn't talk to me as his immediate superior, whether he didn't trust me or what. I never became aware of any of his issues until his wife messaged me. 

Kharma
Kharma
I'm so sorry for your loss. I recently lost a friend to suicide as well and I find the hardest part is not knowing why. She always seemed so happy, she had moved into a new apartment, found a new career and whenever we got together there was always a smile on her face. I believed that attending her funeral would help me find some sort of closure but seeing her only made it worse. I buried my grandmother only a few weeks before my friend and there was a huge difference in the way I handled each situation. With my grandmother I cried because I would miss her, but I rejoiced when I saw the peaceful way see looked. My friend looked nothing like I remembered and I could see that she died horribly. A couple months have passed and I still cry when I think about her, I have trouble sleeping but some days are better than others.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
People who commit suicide tend to be very determined about it, and very secretive as well. This differs from those who are making a cry for help; they are much more open about it, perhaps a subconscious effort to get somebody to intervene.

We have had some suicide hotline trained people here in the past, and they all agree that we must not assume responsibility for the suicide of another. Well, unless we have bullied them or otherwise explicitly encouraged them to do it.

Another thing I have learned here is that almost all of us who have lost somebody goes through a guilt stage where we blame ourselves. As I've listened to some of this, it almost sounds like "I blame myself because I did not educate myself about brain surgery enough to know that my friend/family member needed ...

A trained therapist may be able to help you navigate those self blaming thoughts.

Gentle hugs, and I am so very sorry for your loss
shadowlady
shadowlady
I'm so sorry. That must have been very shocking and painful. Bless you for caring.
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you Orillia..... I am so very sorry for your loss..... Suicide can really effect us as no other passing does due to it being a conscious choice.... I agree with what Pepper wrote .... He had made a decision for reasons of his own as sad as that is
If you're able a RL support group might help.... I'm glad that you're here..... Another hug and a blessing.....xo
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