Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I am writing this column because it has occured to me that many people think they are in your neighborhood...they can just drop in! Dont people call anymore? Brad is still steaming and so am I.She called Brad and me and told us that she was out visiting people downtown and didnt have a place to stay.What she didnt understand that Brad and I dont have the room.I dont live in ahouse...we live in a cottage..I have got 1 big room and Brad has the other.We have got a small bathroom.We have got no closet.I dont have the room like I did in my old apartment.My bed is next to the tv and it has always been a dream of mine to have a tv near my bed.When she arrived..it was late and I mean late.It was pouring outside,so we both assumed that she had a ride home..This slob stayed until 6.30 in the morning.She kept Brad and me up all night and my cats were getting scared.Kramer ran in Brads room and hid under table.Tooey jumped upon the table and slept there.Tuffy was howling and I mean screaming..this is something that she has never done...she hid under my bed all night and she wouldnt eat...Why do people impose themselves on others just because they have got no place to go? I know that she is the process of getting a divorce..but I cant get involved in this at this time.She had no right to stay to almost 7 o clock..Then we had to take her out for breakfast and brad isnt working.He is on
medical leave.Brad is in rehab for his alcohol.He cant be around certain people and I noticed that she had some qualities that I dont want in a friend.This is why noone comes to our house.I meet all of my friends at Starbucks.If we are going shopping I meet at the bus stop.SO people is you are visiting..please do not stay there all night.And please do us a favor...if you are having serious problems...please contact the Seattle Mental Health and they will help you with low cost counciling and there is job training here also.I dont have the money or the education or knowledge to give an opinion on certain subjects.Dr.Phil has done enough of this.And Dr. Phil is being sued for giving someone advice which has backfired.I am still tired of being kept up all night..but this is what happens..all I say this happened to her at Christmas and I found out that her mother and sister told her not to come over anymore.I do know that she lost 2 people during the Thanksgiving holiday..that is all I know..but I cant extend my friendship.What would you do if one of your friends is going through a trauma? What would you do or say if she stayed all night? Brad told me that next time this happens..he will tell anyone to leave at 11 and that is the cut off.I have got to go.I am writing a column about grief in the work force.Vader.
medical leave.Brad is in rehab for his alcohol.He cant be around certain people and I noticed that she had some qualities that I dont want in a friend.This is why noone comes to our house.I meet all of my friends at Starbucks.If we are going shopping I meet at the bus stop.SO people is you are visiting..please do not stay there all night.And please do us a favor...if you are having serious problems...please contact the Seattle Mental Health and they will help you with low cost counciling and there is job training here also.I dont have the money or the education or knowledge to give an opinion on certain subjects.Dr.Phil has done enough of this.And Dr. Phil is being sued for giving someone advice which has backfired.I am still tired of being kept up all night..but this is what happens..all I say this happened to her at Christmas and I found out that her mother and sister told her not to come over anymore.I do know that she lost 2 people during the Thanksgiving holiday..that is all I know..but I cant extend my friendship.What would you do if one of your friends is going through a trauma? What would you do or say if she stayed all night? Brad told me that next time this happens..he will tell anyone to leave at 11 and that is the cut off.I have got to go.I am writing a column about grief in the work force.Vader.
alicea
I think you need to have a heart-to- heart conversation with her BEFORE she arrives again. You can understnad that she is hurting right now and probably does not even realize the burden that she is imposing on you. Maybe you could just give her the phone numbers of agencys that can help her, but let her know that you just cannot accomodate her staying with you right now..but that you will always be able to LISTEN to her. Wishing you the best, I can understand how difficult it must be.... Hugs, Alice
vader
I want to thank you for your reply.But here on the west coast..people are different.This isnt like the east coast some places are open 24 hours.I do realize that she is hurting but so am I.Brad and I are still having problems and I want to help her but I dont have the financial means as of now.But I do think that she should have said that she had no place to stay.The motel up the street has room for 45.00 a night.stay is 7 days and she could have stayed there.We would have driven here there.Motels are a dime a dozen here now and they are hurting for business.The rooms are clean and they now serve breakfast..it aint all that bad.It is raining here again and Brad took the car out.So I am waiting cause I am making dinner and I still worry about driving in the rain.
deleted_user
it sounds like you need to learn how to say no, how to put up boundaries, and stop answering the phone, door, emails after a certain time. Yes there are people out there that will use you, wake you up and ask if you will drive them accross town, or what ever, it is up to you to stop letting them treat you like a doormat. You can do it nicely, like when she called and said she wanted to come by, just say "Oh I am sorry that is impossible for me tonight" if she said then that she had no place to stay, answer back, oh I am sorry you are in this position, how ever this late, there is nothing I can do to help, I must go, talk to you soon, then hang up. or dont answer the phone past nine, it is rude to call someone and just think it is ok to drop by, I wouldnt answer the door, but if it ever happened again, someone comming to the door, just say the same thing, it is impossible on this short notice, I have an early meeting or appointment and cant help. You cant stay here, there is just no room, dont you have family? cant you stay at a hotel? why are you planning this out at this time of night? Then excuse yourself and close the door. Do not answer it again. Freinds dont do that to each other
deleted_user
This is exactly why I hide in my house...doors locked and curtains closed....if I need to talk to someone , I just come here! LOL Being a hermit has it's merits :)
vader
I want to thank you all who have replied.The weather here has been terrible.But now it is so nice because of the rain and today I am going to catch up on my laundry and take my cats out..but I would like to get blinds and they are very expensive here but it does pay to have them..people will think that you are not home.once again thanks.
Join the Conversation