I have decided after watching The Young and The Restless today and I will tell my new case member whom I will meet friday..it is time for me to really grieve.I will still be your advisor and you will see a few columns here everyday and I will offer all the sound advice that even that idiot of a Dr.Phil cant give.But I never really grieved for Frank.Now it is the time.So I have decided that I will not see certain people in seattle anymore and that noone will come to the house.I have decided to wear black and to do all of the chores that I do everyday.I will still go to Starbucks and have coffee..but I will go alone.I have decided to be alone for the rest of the year and into the spring.And that means I will still be in touch with people and shop..but after I come home I will remain there.If Brad wants to go anywhere I will go with him.But I have chosen as of this date not to see anyone.I have never really grieved for my brother.People wouldnt allow it here.Now it is the time to do it and I will do it starting today.I will also continue to do my reading and such.I just wont see people for the time being and if they dont know who they are..they are in denial.I am working on a new column for tomorrow and the rest of the week.I will always keep in touch with everyone here you are a fantastic bunch of people.Wearing black and the crucifix that Frank gave me will give me comfort.Right now,I have got basically noone to talk to here.I see the new doctor as of Friday and I will let everyone know.I just want to spend this time alone and like Victor Newman said today that he wants to be left alone and this is a private matter.So if you see me and I am alone..do me a favor..please do not try to talk to me.Please do not run to me and kiss me and try to hug me at all.This is a very private matter and I did not grieve Frank at all.Circumstances wouldnt let me do it..so I am doing it now.As for Brad..he is much better and remember this..Rehab takes a great deal of time and He is getting better.I have got this wonderful house and these 3 cats.And I am busy writing columns that I was told 10 years that I wouldnt be doing.But there are things that I will be attending in seattle..but I wont be with Brad.I will be alone attending them and I am grieving now so I dont want to hear this endless chatter.I dont want to hear your i pods or your rap music.I want to be alone right now as I learn to deal with this death and I promised Frank that if anything happened..I would be mourning him for at least 5 months.But I still would be doing chores and such and watching tv..but this mourning will be different.And I will say this to all of you.I am learning to accept it now.I accept the fact that I will never see or hear Frank again and it hurts.But I will say this..Everyone who met Frank knew that he was just super.And everyone who met Frank liked him.And Frank was loved.And as I am crying again..I will say this..My brother Frank was not only a fantastic brother..he was a loving warm wonderful human being and I will never forget him at all.Never.Remember this! To all if you ever get depressed..Please remember the words of Frank.."If you see a robin in the air..I am there.If you see a rainbow in the sky..I am there.And I want you to know that when it rains...God cries.God is crying because He knows that another Christian He has taken will be with Him in Paradise.And then Frank said to me..Dont cry anymore.I did not die.I am asleep and with this I will end and I will begin this grieving and it must be done so I can heal and be a better person,woman,aunt and founder to everyone.Vader.