This is for everyone who have experienced loss of a loved one in life.The old saying told me that "Time Heals All Wounds".... but the Old Guy is wrong.Time doesnt.The pain of my loss never goes away and I find myself lately crying and calling out for him.Brad treated me terrible the past three years.He beat me everyday and was rotten to the cats.If I didnt buy the food and such...Kramer would have starved and i couldnt do that to my cat whom I have had since 1998.Brads favorite song was " I Just want to be Your Everything"..It was sung by the late Andy Gibb and I dont know what happened to my copy.But when I do heard this song and I hear the way Andy used to sing it...I go into hysterics and after 3 years this is totally uncalled for.I am trying.I sing Karaoke every Tuesday night at the local Tavern and On Wednesday I sing at Open Mic at the local bookstore.Brad hated my singing and always criticized my voice and now I realize he was jealous..So was his silly sister.I try to laugh at least once a day and do things that keep me busy.I try to be nice and pleasant and try to have adult conversations.Brad did not like to talk and this is a red flag.Shy people can make the other really nervous and sick.I never knew what he was thinking.He was just so quiet and I wish he had talked more.Guys dont be a clam.Please dont be shy.Brad was shy because he never got over his teenage romance or the fact that she broke up with him
This girl was talented.She wanted to be a concert pianist.And when you play the piano like this...it often requires the ulttimate sacrifice.He wanted her to stay home and have kids.Excuse me ,kids? Since when is this a requirement now? Women can have careers and still be a wife and mother and this requires work on your part.Brad never got it.I guess he wanted me to stay home also,but I worked and took care of the house and cats.At night,Brad would talk to me and it was over little stuff and I often wonder if I paid attention more..would he have taken his life or started on meth? The pain us suicide survivors go thru is sheer hell and I have tried.But the pain never goes away.