I think that we all go through a stage of being strong for others, but we forget to take care of ourselves.  I was able to learn a bit about this from a couple of friends in a bereavement class I took.

There were 2 ladies who never really grieved for their loss; one for her husband and the other for her daughter.

The woman who lost her husband did not have a memorial service or a funeral because he did not want one.  She was not able to have a public outpouring of support that one gets at such a service.  I could tell from watching her in the class that she was lying when she said that she was doing OK.

The other lady mourned the loss of her daughter to drugs and mental illness.  (Sadly they go hand in hand more than we know.)  I guess in a way she felt responsible for her daughter's death and that she did not deserve to be supported.

Both ladies took advantage of a "generic grieving event" that our leader made us aware of.  Both of them went without knowing what to expect.  Both cried like babies.  Both lost it.  Both were supported by everybody there.

Both were able to kickstart their bereavement process and make some real progress!

Please, and I know this applies to me as well, remember that we need to get our feelings out, and the more we suppress it, the longer we hold it in, the worse it can get.

We need to give ourselves permission to be week so that we can get strong.  We need to allow ourselves to express hopelessness so that we can find hope. 

Gentle hugs