Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Hi my name is Catharine, and I have just join the support group. I have nothing no more in my life. I lost my Mom in 2019, I was her caregiver. I had sold my home and I moved in with her and my husband. Their are 4 kids in my family. The other 3 while, they couldn't be bothered with my Mom. My Mom suffered a really bad death. she couldn't breath at all, nothing helped. The hosiptal and doctors couldn't do no more for her. We took her home to die. I watched her die everyday and there wasn't a dam thing I could do for her. The worse feeling in the world is watching someone you love die slowly and painful in front of you. I will always remember her that way, struggling and asking me for help. The pain, I am still feeling it to this day and I see her face, her face of pain.
When my Mom did pass I had paid for her funeral. I thought my Mom had everything done. No ,she did not and what a way to find out. So, that was a scrabble to get all that together. Again no help from my siblings. Just 15 days after, I receive a register letter in the mail. When I had opened, I was being sued by my siblings. I haven't even started to grieve for my Mom yet, and Know I have lost my siblings because of brick and water( The House ) which was left to me.
I need some guidance on what is happeneing to me. I need to just cry for my Mom. You know, I am having a hard time trying to remember my family and when we were all young and I had my Mom and Dad back. That's what I am trying to grab on too. I am so empty the pain is unbearable. I ask ,God why was I even born to be put through this hurt that I have had all my life. When is it going to stop?
I need a comforting voice to tell me everything is going to be OK. That's why I need to be hear. To find my way. Thank-you for reading my story.
Catharine.
I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and that you are hurting so deeply. It is so difficult watching a loved one suffer. I have been there and it is excruciating. It has been some time since your mom passed and am worried that you could be leaving the grief stage and entering into depression. Have you spoken to your family doctor about this? Have you tried counseling? Usually Hospice offers free grief counseling for a year or two after a loved one's death. Reach out to them and get some information. You deserve to have some burden lifted from you.
I am not sure if you have any kind of faith/religion/beliefs in your life. My faith has gotten me through some of my darkest times. I do not know what I would have done during those difficult moments without God's help. If you have belief, call out to Him... He wants to heal you and redeem your sadness and remind you of what it means to hope and live in joy. Even when we can't see or understand what he is doing, we can trust that he is working toward redemption. He loves you and is with you always. Lean on your husband right now or a close friend. Reach out to a counselor and ask for some help. It is okay to lean on others right now. Today, pick something that makes you feel happy. Walk outside and see the flowers coming up and starting to bloom. Look at the birds flying by and clouds moving swiftly in the sky. Watch the wind rustle the leaves in the tree and squirrels climb up them. Take in the beauty of this world. You are going to be okay.. just take a small step everyday... your mom would want you to.. she would not want you to be unhappy... I will be praying for you Catharine. God Bless.
I had just read your comment to me in the morning. I can't tell you much this means to me? I have been trying to connect with someone, that knows what I am going through. I do have my faith in God, but for the longest time I couldn't reach out to him with the anger I held within side of me.
It was my husband that talked my into going back to church. I went to confession and I have being going ever since. This Covid-19 has put a hold on that ( going to church ) so that leaves me very scared and alone. Yes, I do have my husband but he his always working and 2 days a week, is hardly enough time for each other. Also, he can only take so much. He is working through his own pain and sadness. He was very very close to my Mom.
I think that the second loss is hitting him more. My sibling's suing him for taking care of their Mom while she was dying. That's just crazy, when I say this out loud. These people come from the same bloodline as I yet, I am so different then them. I am seeing that they are every cold.
I was really close to me Mom ,even through my marriage we where always together. The one thing that keeps going through my head, is the words my Mom had said to me, "Cath when I die this family will fall apart". And it did.
I have tried my doctor, You know what he gave me, when I asked him for help for my grieving, a list of online grief support. That was it and that's how I am here. Maybe someone here I can connect with. All I wish ids to chat with someone every other day or week. It doesn't matter, just another person is good right about know.
It would be great to hear back from you, in the near future. Take care my friend that I haven't meant yet.
Dollymay
It stinks when people let us down, like your family and this nonsense with suing. It’s truly unfortunate but this happens often after a family member dies and money gets in the way. I’m sorry it has to be that way for you.
I know Covid has halted a lot of things but just because you can’t be in church doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship with Him. I start by setting aside some prayer time. I usually start off my prayers like this. Dear Jesus, this is your daughter with whom you are well pleased. Thank you lord for this beautiful day and whatever else comes to mind that I want to thank him for. Then I ask for what I need. For instance for you, please help me remember all the beautiful times I had with my mother only - make those replace the difficult ones I seem to focus on. I ask this in your name Lord. Amen
Make that relationship happen with him. Also something that a pastor shared me with me once - he said when you take communion (not sure if your church does this or not) but when you eat it - you are sharing a heavenly meal at the same time with your loved ones in heaven.... he explained it beautifully can’t remember it all. Needless to say, when I had communion today it felt so beautiful because it was like my dad was with me and my best friend whom recently passed. Just thought I would share that.
So did you find something that brought you happiness today ? I hope so. Hope each day gets brighter for you.
This responding back in forth is wonderful for me, because It seems to me that I have found friend that is understanding me and telling me to get over it. My church sounds very much like yours and I do have my faith, but you know that old saying " as long as you have your faith, you will be fine, he will pull you through it Catharine."
That's not always the case. My my case I need my family around me and if I had that I could pull through my mom's death. Everyday when I wakeup I say to myself ( here I go again, another being scared and confused) and I have no one to pull me out of this dark place I go to. I can't remember any good thoughts from my family, to put in my head to keep me grounded not just for the day but forever.
My question to God is this, If someone is doing bad to you, why can this person doing the bad always seams to be having a good day. None of what they are doing to another persons life, is for one minute not effecting them.
My sibling has been quite for over 1 year. No contact and not responding, that's why I am in great pain, she can do this to me and then go silent. That is the most torture any one human being can take. She is stilling going on with her life, like nothing is happening, yet she has my whole life in her hands and I think she was to keep it that way.
I am trying to educate myself about the law and the lawsuit I am in. I have a lawyer but he is not doing much for me. I have paid him well over$ 1700.oo, could me more( not sure ). I can't just call him or email him to ask a simple question, he will charge me for him to say (nothing has changed). But, something should change, he should be on her lawyer everyday to see why the are not replying to our motions. He is telling me ( my lawyer ) if she ( my sibling ) keeps going like this ( being quite ) it looks good for us ( meaning me)
and not good for her ( my sibling ).
That is the biggest copout I have ever heard in my life. I feel that I am not really in a lawsuit after all. Why are the courts allowing her to stall on this case the why she is. Either continue or dismiss it. My sibling has my house on a caution and I can't get it removed. I am pleading to my Lord to help me because I need to get out of this home. All my Mom's care was done at home and all I can see is my Mom and asking me for help. It's enough to drive anyone mad and that's were I am right now. I am haunted by my Mom's bad death, she suffered a really bad death. My heart can't forget that and that's why I can't get the good thoughts back into my head.
This has messed me up for the rest of my life watching my Mom die slowly everyday until the end. My sibling is also accused my of abuse and over drugging my Mom while she was dying. This person is a monster and she still goes to church herself. That's were I am confused, why is God allowing her to pretend that she is still a good catholic, when she is hurting someone in her family for money. Isn't that greed ( a sin )?
I would like to keep posting comments to each other because it will be a good thing and the one thing I will look forward to everyday. Thanks for caring. take care my friend and I hope we will chat every soon. I have a question for you before I say good-ye for today, Dose this grief support site have a chatroom, or a zoom grief support group in place? or is just hoping someone finds a person that can relate to you and your story?
Dollymay