Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I had to write this column.Noone wants to talk about it here.It seems like the people in seattle still think that this is the 1990s and Kurt is still alive.But what about aftercare? What is aftercare? Aftercare is after the funeral and people tend to forget all about you and this shouldnt be.I was told that the reason why people forget is because of the rough times that we have been having and I told her...look how come men can have friends for 40 or 50 years and women have several? Havent you seen that men are better friends then women? She hasnt spoken to me in two weeks.After can I help? The first thing that anyone can do is not and I mean not just drop in.This creates tension in the home and this is something that the person doesnt need.Always call first.If the person isnt home...leave a message on the answersing machine..dont hang up!Another way to help is if you cant attend the funeral or memorial..on the day of the funeral is bring a card...and dont bring those silly cupcakes...do you actually believe that people eat a lot of sweets now? I dont think so! Bring a tuna casserole with warm rolls and some pie.If the minister is there when you arrive...leave...he didnt come there to see you.He came there to see the person who has loss and it isnt fair to this person if you try to hog him.If the dishes arent done and such..why dont you offer to do them? And how about one weeks maid service? And how about taking clothes to the cleaners and how about buying cat/dog food and taking them out for a walk the day after the funeral is done? And this is to all of you....I know that people today mean well..NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER ASK A GRIEVING PERSON HOW SHE/HE DIED...NEVER...BECAUSE IF YOU WERENT THERE...THIS INFORMATION IS PERSONAL AND FRANKLY I DONT SEE WHY IS IT YOUR BUSINESS.NEVER ASK HOW A PERSON DIES..PLEASE.THS QUESTION HAS CAUSED BRADS TEMPER TO GO THROUGH THE ROOF...PLEASE`! and to all who mean well..DONT ASK WHAT IS IN THE WILL? whY DOES ANYONE WANT TO KNOW THIS? aRE YOU ONE OF THESE GOSSIP REPORTERS ON TV? WHY ARE YOU AND OTHERS CONCERNED ABOUT MONEY WHEN IT DOESNT CONCERN YOU? AND FOR THE LAST QUESTION...NEVER ASK A GRIEVING PERSON AND I KNOW THIS FROM MY LATE FATHERS WAKE...WHO THEY ARE GOING TO VOTE FOR? I mean...i am a democrat and there are many people that I like and there are many policies that I dont agree with but asking money and such at this time shows me one thing.IGNORANCE.
People kill me wanting to know every little detail, wheather good or bad.
I'm still wanting to sue the funeral director who mishandled my mother's arrangements - couldn't wait to collect my money and leave for a golf weekend while some flunky messed things up. I think I'd have a case but the BBB hasn't gotten a reply from him! But that's another story.
Ironically, I expected certain people at Mama's wake who lived in town but didn't come due to weather or illness and my family live out of state. (I didn't even notify Dad's side of the family.) But Dad's wake (because his family was from more local area) had a big turnout, including one of Mom's Aides and someone from my bereavement group. (That was the problem.) I don't think a wake should be a social gathering where people make contacts, collect a phone/fax numbers and later suggest going to lunch. A wake is where you pay respects to the deceased - and to the family who's suffering the loss. Conversing with other guests is no crime but it can get out of hand - maybe I'm old fashioned.