Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Terrible Loss

Abraxix
Abraxix

On December 14th I lost my best friend of 40 years. I still haven't recovered and don't think I ever will. I had been upset with her over something stupid and we hadn't spoken in 3 weeks, normally we talked 3 times a day. I am consumed by guilt, but I can't take back my actions. How do I live with this guilt?

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you Abrax.... I am so very sorry for your loss..... Guilt can be all consuming and it won't help you or your friend sweetie.... Your friend has moved on to another place.... She has let it go..... Honouring her is celebrating the wonderful person that she was not hanging onto a little tiff that you had..... Another hug and a blessing.....xo
Abraxix
Abraxix
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
I learned a lesson from my dad. He had a lot of things on his to-do list when he died. At first it made me very sad, but then I analyzed my thoughts. If he had done them all and not added anything new, then he would have emotionally died the day his list was done. So he was unafraid to have a list of things that he may or may not accomplish.

Likewise you had a friend. You could have dedicated your life to never having any friction with your friend, but then would that have been a real relationship? Please forgive yourself, you and she were both living a friendship that was full and had its share of warts and blemishes amongst the beauty and joy.

What you had was an unfortunate case of timing.

If you like you can write your best ever "I am so very sorry" letter and then perhaps offer it up in a ceremonial burning.

Gentle hugs
Abraxix
Abraxix
Thank you both for your kind words. I think that by writing a letter I can regain some acembelence of peace.
Shon
Shon
Guilt can be very deadly to your spirit man. It must be very difficult to have lost such a close and dear friend. I can feel your pain and guilt in your words that I have read. However, in order for you to begin healing you must first forgive yourself and then forgive your close friend; it is at that time when you will feel the heaviness being lifted from your heart. Peace and love to you !!!!!!
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