Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
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Talking about what happened

Cassandrax3
Cassandrax3
Ever since I lost my father I would talk about everything, Then all of a sudden I would just stay home from school and sit around in my room. I then got a therapist and when she tells me to go home and like start up a conversation about my father i dont. We both agree that I like to avoid things like that. Which i agree, i think i do avoid a lot of that because i dont like the feelings they then bring. The depression and stuff. Its kind of hard for me to talk about anything without then falling into a deep depression. I'm struggling but then i dont seem to be wanting to help myself. I'm worried about how i'll get to school next year, its my last year and its pretty important to be there. Anyone else here with me ever feel like this? Like did you miss school/work for a while?
rosykitten
rosykitten
It's ok, just take your time. You're grieving. There's no need to rush or anything.

I lost my mom 2 months before I got to graduate from high school. I was absent for a whole week and had to go back for graduation. It was the most difficult time I've endured in my life. I managed to finish high school and went to college for a short period of time. I am on medical leave now, and I don't feel like going back to college anytime soon. Everyone grieves differently and there is no right or wrong in this
jewells1
jewells1
You area product of your fathers life and love. I know it hurts, but you are an extension of him in this world. There are stories that only you and him know of. The laughter and side jokes only you and him understood. So maybe try journalling these, not the end of his life ,but the life of these moments. The tools and knowledge he gave you, proud moments, funny moments, a piece at a time what he taught you. Any parent feels pride when milestones are met and conquered by their child, your graduation is one of those, your opportunity to honor his love.
koolman
koolman
Whether to talk, or not talk about these things, is a matter of knowing you, and your audience (is your mother still alive?). If so, LOOK at your mother, and how she reacts when you talk about your dad, her husband. If she clearly doesn't want to talk about it, don't.

Do you WANT to talk about it? Or not? Either way, go with whatever you feel; it's OK. I know it's hard to focus on school, but you're almost to graduation, so finish up, then decide whether you want to go to college, or get a job. Do allow yourself time to be vulnerable, cry, be angry, whatever you're feeling. It's natural and necessary. Any quiet places you can go to express your emotions?