Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

3,877 Members
13,418 Posts
2 Online
Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Still not "over it"

Cassandrax3
Cassandrax3
So its been 5 months almost 6 since i lost my father. School is going to be starting again soon and ever since i found out he passed away i was always skipping school. I spoke to a therapist about this and she said it was probably because thats where i was when i found out the news. I have one more year of high school left and im just really worried on if i'll be able to make it there or not. I'm going to go see a psychiatrist soon to see if i need medication and if i do, im kind of hoping it'll be able to "help" me get to school this year. All i've been doing is avoiding talking about my dad at all. Because by avoiding it, it makes me not feel the depression it brings on. And that clearly isnt good. Its only making me worse. I hope that i can figure something out and be able to "get passed" this and start to feel better. I dont like this feeling anymore. I just wish i could go back in time and change it all.
Jhelum
Jhelum
Hi Cassandra...it's not "depression", it's "grief". The difference was explained to me by the therapist I started seeing after my mom passed away. Turns out, grief and depression feel the same, but aren't.
I was a woman with everything going right in my life and feeling pretty good about myself, about 3 and half years back. One dreadful evening, I suddenly lost mom to a brain aneurysm and my sweet little world came crashing down. The emotions were unknown and I was so scared..depression wasn't on my planner.

I know some people really need medication to really "move on", but I'd rather not try them. 5 months is a very short time to get over the death of a parent. At 5 months, I was pretending to be happy on the outside and crying myself to sleep every night.

You're too young to depend on medicines and believe me when I say this, no amount of medicine will make this pain go away. Only time will make you function. Till then, take one day at a time. Concentrate on studies, cry when you need to, talk to your family about your dad, keep him alive in your memory.

Take care sweetheart, love and hugs...
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is grief and I don't think we ever truly get over it, we just get through it. Certainly losing an aunt is not the same as losing a father but it's been 5 months since my aunt's death and it's just now starting to catch up with me. However, everyone is different in how they process things. I wish you the very best with school. So sorry about your father.
imarriedapornaddict2
imarriedapornaddict2
Who told you that five months later you would be "over it"? It's been a year since I lost my dad and I am far from being "over it". Now my loss has been compounded by another loss. I don't think we ever get "over it". We learn to live despite the emptiness and raw pain we feel on a daily basis. I assume the raw feeling of the pain may decrease some as with any other wound. IMO...
koolman
koolman
We never really get "over it". But we DO get "through it", by making new friends, loving new children born into the family, etc. Don't think of loving someone new as betraying the memory of your lost loved one. Quite the contrary, loving someone or something new is HONORING, INCORPORATING the person who passed, and, believe me, they're right there, just beneath the surface, BEGGING you to love anew!