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My sweet grandmother Helen, 96 years young, known affectionately by all us grandkids as "Granny", is slipping away. Seeing her lying there, but a shell, a skeleton with some skin and hair, her mouth wide open, breathing shallowly only through her mouth, in and out of consciousness, brought back flashbacks of my brother Mark, who passed away at 40 years young, who also laid there one-and-a-half feet in the grave looking like 40 going on 100.
She's lived a good, long life, and the quality of life is so non-existent for her at this point that I know it's her time to pass on, so I don't feel too sad for her. I'm really there physically and emotionally for my mother, who has been my her mother's, my Granny's caregiver for the past year, has spent time with her every day, and is having a tough time letting go. When my Mom cries, I cry with her, rub her back and offer any supportive words that seem possible.
The positive is: Those people at Hospice are wonderful! The place is very quiet, the nurses see to her medication needs to see that she's comfortable, there was a Chaplain who came in to ask her what her faith is so he can offer any encouraging words to help guide her to her special place on the other side, and she's surrounded by us loved ones, which is probably why she's hanging on, is not ready to go. Aside from the fact that she sometimes grimaces in pain, Hospice is not a bad way to go!
Does anyone have any experiences with seeing their loved ones depart this place and transition to the other side in Hospice that you'd care to share?
She's lived a good, long life, and the quality of life is so non-existent for her at this point that I know it's her time to pass on, so I don't feel too sad for her. I'm really there physically and emotionally for my mother, who has been my her mother's, my Granny's caregiver for the past year, has spent time with her every day, and is having a tough time letting go. When my Mom cries, I cry with her, rub her back and offer any supportive words that seem possible.
The positive is: Those people at Hospice are wonderful! The place is very quiet, the nurses see to her medication needs to see that she's comfortable, there was a Chaplain who came in to ask her what her faith is so he can offer any encouraging words to help guide her to her special place on the other side, and she's surrounded by us loved ones, which is probably why she's hanging on, is not ready to go. Aside from the fact that she sometimes grimaces in pain, Hospice is not a bad way to go!
Does anyone have any experiences with seeing their loved ones depart this place and transition to the other side in Hospice that you'd care to share?
My father was under hospice care before he passed away from cancer. Hospice is a wonderful organization that provides the dying with peace until the last breath of life. They can also provide counseling for the family members in need before, during, and after the loved one passes. Losing one's mother is one of the most difficult losses in life. Mine died three years ago. I am still in the grieving process. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to help your mother through this hard time. Just being there is a great comfort. Look into some of the grief counseling that hospice may be able to provide for your family. I wish you and your peace in this stressful time.
This is painful, seeing someone you love dearly so weak and feeble and yet still clinging on to life, lingering like this, going a spoonful at a time...prayers needed and appreciated, for her to finally decide to move on and for us to receive comfort.
In any case, you and your family are in my prayers. Hospice is pretty good at keeping the pain at bay. They also have very good bereavement groups which have helped me as I mourn my mom.
I'm hoping your "Granny" continues to be comfortable ANd that your Mom is doing ok. In May I had a friend come to my home under hospice care at the end stage of his life. He had liver cancer. He was 67.
My experience with hospice , As his care provider and friend was overall wonderful! Although he expected to receive shifts of care from the nurses from the time he came to my home, ( which doesn't happen until the very end), it was a caring, efficient and amazing service they provided.
You asked about the experience of seeing him transition.... It was a very peaceful time, he had lapsed into a coma about 12 hours before his passing. He had oxygen and sublingual medications for comfort. At 7 am he was fine, and about 8:30am he started having the "rattle". It sounded like he was gargling or needed to clear his throat. About 9:10 am he took a deep breath and then it seemed like a minute or more before he took another more shallow breath. His breathing stopped about 9:20am and he was on his journey to a better place. No last minute awakening, no signs of pain or fear, truly an experience that I was glad to hold his hand through.
Hope this helps you.... Every person is different!! Praying for peace for you and your Mom.....
I laid next to my Granny in a cot next to her bed today when she was sleeping, and when I got up, what a fright--her face, the face of a corpse...that was still breathing...was right there. This is agonizing, folks...she's not doing herself or us any favors. Why is she resisting passing on? She's obviously terrified of death. But is the alternative, lingering in a living death, any less terrifying?
I'll make sure my mom knows about Hospice grief counseling. I'm in a much better spiritual place about death than I was when I watched my brother go 7 years ago, but my mom is carrying a lot of sadness...she's watched her son, her father, a slew of her customers that she cleans house for and now her mother go...she's a workaholic who buries herself in work and that's how she deals with the sadness, but I think talking with some grief counselors would help her.
Sorry for your woes. Cancer sucks, is a living death. My brother went that way and it was bloody awful. I just watched the remake of the movie The Omen with the late Pete Posthelwaite playing the ill-fated Father Brennan, and poor Pete had that "look of death" too. Thankfully, now they're warm and loved, in an all-new spiritual "body".
Best...