Bereavement Support Group

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spending and grief by vader

vader
vader
i ahd to write this column.Now I am on a budget and it is hard when there is just one salary..but I found out that I have been spending money like water and i was buying things that I do not need.I have given a great deal of books and clothes away and I wear the same thing all the time.I do not go to nightclubs or concerts anymore because I can not afford it and i have got a hearing problem.Todays music is very very loud and it drowns out the conversations that you have.I also do something that I am not proud of and i go food shopping when i am hungary and this is bad.I am finding that food is expensive in seattle and now I have plenty.So remember the next time someone said not to spend they are only trying to console you and some people do not know what to say at all.I am going to a debt counselor and it is a new beginning for me and I am giving away most of the clothes because I am having a garage sale and the ones that I do not want and people have been giving me clothes..I am giving to goodwill.
koolman
koolman
Please don't spend to assuage grief! Consumption is a losing proposition compared to production anyway, and you're only compounding your misery by adding financial stress to it.

It's great that you're seeing a debt counselor.

Why are you GIVING away those clothes when you could be SELLING them at garage sales, getting at least some of your money back? If you don't sell them at one garage sale, try to sell them at the next.
vader
vader
thank you for your reply.I will consider a garage sale..but how do yougo about doing it? In Seattle....you can only have 4 garage sales a year and I have a great deal of clothes and books.ANy suggestions?
koolman
koolman
Sell what you can in each, I guess!
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
See if there is a clothing consignment shop near you. They will take the clothes, sell them, and take a share of what they get for ther clothes, and then they send you a check. If you have a lot, or have expensive clothes that are in good condition, it can be worth it. I moved from Florida to England, so I sold a lot of my hot climate clothes (don't really need them here). They also usually take good costume jewelry and accessories, shoes, etc.

Just a thought....

The first 6 months after my husband died, my sister took me out shopping every weekend. She was afraid I would cave in on myself if I was left alone. Problem was, I was still in the grief fog. I came out of the fog a few months later and discovered I had a whole new wardrobe. It's a good thing I only hit sale racks or I would have wound up spending way way way too much money. I didn't care at the time, I was too much of a wreck to care about much of anything beyond survival and my kids.

Make a budget and stick to it in the early months especially.....

Hugs...