I wish I could find the words to help you, I truly do. I'm so sorry you've been through so much. All I can say is that I'm exactly where you're at. I've also been through the passing of a family member, my Dad, when I was 14 and my significant other passed on September 2nd, and I'm still trying to cope with it. I think, with any death, it just truly takes time. Have you thought about grief counseling? I went when my father passed, and ended up staying for three or so years. It was truly the best thing I could have done at the time, to be able to share my thoughts with those going through it also. -eHugs-

The loss of someone you love is devastating, no matter there age. my little angel angel died April last year and i am beside myself with grief. He was only 5yrs old.

relatives and friends have told me it is good to talk to people about the way I'm feeling but i find it hard to talk to them. so that's why i joined this support group. i thought if i talk to people i don't knew it might be easier.

you can talk to me.

I am so sorry to hear of your losses. I lost my son on March 2nd, 2013 from a rare terminal illness. He was 9 years old. I am struggling as well to deal with his passing as is my family. I just joined today, but I would like to be here for you. Maybe together we can find the path to finding some peace.

So sorry for all losses.

In 2005 I lost my brother in January then in April my father - of a broken heart over my brother - he was crushed after my brother's death. Neither were ill. It was horrible. Everyone in my family was hurting and there was so much dissention.

One thing I tried to accept and hold on to was that everyone had the same losses but the loss was different for each of us. All of our lives & worlds were changed forever not just mine. At a time when family unity should have been high it was not.

Somehow, second by second then minute by minute I got myself through each day. The roller coaster of feelings was a reality I worked toward accepting.

Please keep sharing! The wonderful people here have helped me a lot.

Wishing you peace.

Sonya, I am so so sorry for what you have been through. How terrible and unusual to have to experience three losses in a row like that. Oh my goodness. take it day by day for now, and focus on taking care of yourself physically if nothing else.

What Hamley says here is right on, I agree with all of it. Especially that everyone in your family is processing their losses in a different way. This is what can cause such stress for families, but if you can stay patient and understanding it may help. You may have better coping skills than you think, and better skills than your brother, say, but that doesn't mean that you are grieving alone. It will get easier.

That's quite a string of losses! I'm so sorry you're enduring this.

I guess how one copes is try to be supportive to the people in the family who are still here, HOWEVER they're handling this!

Also, God is great at filling gaps. After a loss, there is usually a GAIN of some kind. Be prepared for a new little one or two in the family, who might just be conceived by you!

Sonya, I am sorry for your losses. I can understand how overwhelming it must be for you. You obviously care a lot for your family, and as a mother as well you are geared towards wanting to comfort everyone else, too. That can be a two-edged sword as you can wind up forgetting to find help and comfort for yourself. I am glad that you have posted here and are reaching out.

It sounds like no one really had a chance to work through the loss of your brother before everything else hit. I feel particularly bad for your grandma - to lose a husband, a son, and a grandson in the space of 6 months - my heart goes out to her.

I think Hamley's description of it was right on point - you've all shared the losses, but it will affect each of you differently. For yourself, I think it would be a good idea to seek out some grief counseling. I received grief counseling through an Employee Assistance Program at work, and it was free. Check to see if your company has such a program. I found it good to have a safe place to cry, vent, discuss, etc. My older son had it through the same program; my younger son received counseling through the school psychologist and guidance counselor, and these were free as well. Counseling does not have to be forever, and it is not a sign of weakness or that you're crazy (although you may feel like it!). Some people hesitate to get counseling when in fact it would be so beneficial for them. I hope you will consider it.

There are a number of good books on grieving you can try, too. The best I found for me was "Seven Choices-Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World" by Elizabeth Harper Neeld. Amazon carries it or your local library may have it as it's been out awhile. The book also has many recommendations at the back for resources for different members of the family, including books and websites for kids and teens. You can also ask your local librarian for recommendations for books for yourself and for other members of your family.

You do get through it, and you never forget them. I buried both my parents, both my husband's parents, and then my husband. I did grieve all the dreams and plans that went with each of those losses. You do eventually have new dreams and plans, and accept the changes the losses bring. For me, the best way to honor each of them is to live as fully as possible. No one's legacy should be that their death destroyed their loved ones' lives.

It's early days for you and your family; it will take both time and effort to get through these multiple losses. Don't give up. You can get through this.

I am a Community Leader here for the Widows & Widowers Group. If it would help your step-mom or Grandma cope with widowhood, let them know we're here, too.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers. It is devastating when you experience one death, but you are carrying a heavy burden. Let me assure you that you will survive and you will thrive. It takes a while so don't try to rush through it. I read a book given to me by a support group I attended called "Experiencing Grief", by H. Norman Wright. It help to deal with the many emotions of grief and assured me that I was not going crazy.