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I had to write this column.My boyfriend committed suicide on May 22,2009.Brad was 49 and we were on the verge of splitting up.In fact,he was very cruel to me and was hitting me day and night.But before he killed himslef,Brad admitted to me that he was seeing someone else and they were going to get a place together.He also told me that he was going to take the cats.When he told me this,this confirmed my suspicions.He was always broke and never had any money.So this is my open letter to you..................
To The Other Woman by Vader
I dont know who you are and what you do.All I know is that Brad is dead and it will be a year.I dont know what Brad said or did.But Brad wasnt himself and he was telling lies about me.I was with him for twelve years and when Brad drank...he was a mean drunk.I hope that he was able to help you in your time of need.I hope that you were able to calm him of his fears.These were things that I could not do and it isnt my fault.And I want to tell you this..........................TO THE OTHER WOMAN........................................................I FORGIVE YOU AND LETS MEET.LETS MEET AND TRY TO BE FRIENDS BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS WHAT BRAD WOULD HAVE WANTED.LETS MEET AND FORGIVE EACH OTHER.BRADS DEATH ISNT YOUR FAULT.NEITHER IS IT MINE.HE WAS JUST SO DEPRESSED THAT I COULDNT HELP HIM ANYMORE.BRAD LET GO OF LIFE AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS...DONT DO THIS.....FOR IT HAS HURT ME AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE BRAD AND I WANT TO MEET YOU AND HEAR YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY.PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME NOT TO DO THIS...BUT IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES.WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
To The Other Woman by Vader
I dont know who you are and what you do.All I know is that Brad is dead and it will be a year.I dont know what Brad said or did.But Brad wasnt himself and he was telling lies about me.I was with him for twelve years and when Brad drank...he was a mean drunk.I hope that he was able to help you in your time of need.I hope that you were able to calm him of his fears.These were things that I could not do and it isnt my fault.And I want to tell you this..........................TO THE OTHER WOMAN........................................................I FORGIVE YOU AND LETS MEET.LETS MEET AND TRY TO BE FRIENDS BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS WHAT BRAD WOULD HAVE WANTED.LETS MEET AND FORGIVE EACH OTHER.BRADS DEATH ISNT YOUR FAULT.NEITHER IS IT MINE.HE WAS JUST SO DEPRESSED THAT I COULDNT HELP HIM ANYMORE.BRAD LET GO OF LIFE AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS...DONT DO THIS.....FOR IT HAS HURT ME AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE BRAD AND I WANT TO MEET YOU AND HEAR YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY.PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME NOT TO DO THIS...BUT IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES.WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
I can't help but wonder if you're still trying to hold onto Brad through
this other woman. You must have loved him so.
Brad chose this. You did not.
Let go hon.
move on.
I dont think meeting the other woman will help in any way.
Take care and I wish you find peace...
My grandfather just killed himself and I needed to see the stretcher on which they rolled him out of his house. His body was inside a body bag so I didn't see his body, but I needed to watch as the coroner took his body away. People told me not to. But I needed to. Sometimes you need to do things you can't explain. Sometimes you need to try your best to assess what you need and then do what you feel you need to do. Whatever might give you some comfort in a terrible situation.
My thoughts are with you.
- Deanna