Bereavement Support Group
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There are new ways to help the grieving that noone really knows about.Let me share some of them.The first thing a friend and co worker can do is that when people return from a week and they just attended a funeral..it is no time for games or jokes.On the first day when they arrive,have a bouquest of flowers or a red carnation with a card that states you are sorry about the loss.When they arrive at the place that they are at..greet them and get them them coffee.Ask them how they.But never mention certain things.On the first day instruct all of the co workers and even the boss to leave the person alone.Do not bother them.Talking at this stage is difficult.The first week is hard and friends can help by coming over and seeing what has to be done.If there are dishes,do them.And if you are bringing food,please do not bring brownies or cake.The grieving like myself have
a lot of sweets given to them and they would like to have some nourishment.Please bring at least a salad or how about a casserole? And do the grieving a favor..when visting the first week after the funeral..do not overstay.It is not necessary to stay for hours.Like I said before when a minister or others do come over,leave.They are not there to see you.So if you have any questions of religion..please leave it to another time.And do us all a favor..do not go into the persons room and start to throw out their clothes.Number one-it is not your right to do this and number two-it is none of your business.If they want to leave the clothes and leave the room like it was,why is it your business? Where you there when he/or she really needed you? Leave the clothes and shrine alone,please.And do not throw out any of his cologne or vice versa.To do this shows me just one thing..You are ignorant.And since I have experience this behaviour..it will never happen again to me,because if it does..You will be asked to leave and I will never speak to you again.My mother was bullied this way by these well meaning people and this will never happen to me.So if you think throwing this and that out will help..GROW UP! Because you are doing this.You are robbing these people of their memories and you have got no right to do this.Vader.
a lot of sweets given to them and they would like to have some nourishment.Please bring at least a salad or how about a casserole? And do the grieving a favor..when visting the first week after the funeral..do not overstay.It is not necessary to stay for hours.Like I said before when a minister or others do come over,leave.They are not there to see you.So if you have any questions of religion..please leave it to another time.And do us all a favor..do not go into the persons room and start to throw out their clothes.Number one-it is not your right to do this and number two-it is none of your business.If they want to leave the clothes and leave the room like it was,why is it your business? Where you there when he/or she really needed you? Leave the clothes and shrine alone,please.And do not throw out any of his cologne or vice versa.To do this shows me just one thing..You are ignorant.And since I have experience this behaviour..it will never happen again to me,because if it does..You will be asked to leave and I will never speak to you again.My mother was bullied this way by these well meaning people and this will never happen to me.So if you think throwing this and that out will help..GROW UP! Because you are doing this.You are robbing these people of their memories and you have got no right to do this.Vader.
deleted_user
Thanks for your insight. Only those who have been through this pain can understand if what people do helps or hinders those who are grieving. I think the biggest one for me is ...call me to see how I am doing ...email me...send me a card saying you are thinking of me. Do not let the funeral be the last time you see me. Reality is, I am feeling worse than then - but everyone seems to drift away. I know they don't want to deal with my grief - as it is a reality-check that something like this could happen to them. Being alone or feeling alone only adds insult to injury. When my son died 16 years ago, I had to educate my friends and family - I had to reach out to them and tell them what I needed. I seem to be doing it again since my oldest son died almost a year ago. People are very uncomfortable with my losing two sons...I do understand. The "what is normal after your child dies" has been very helpful to friends and family. peace, Shirley
vader
I am so glad to be of help.From vader.
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