Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
My dad was taken to the hospital on Nov. 14. A CT scan on Nov. 15 revealed lesions on his liver. He had had a successful surgery removing a cancerous tumor from his pancreas back in June. Doctors figured the lesions were cancerous and was Stage 4. It was determined his body was too weak for chemo or radiation, so my dad said he didn't want to do anything more. He was transferred to a nursing facility on Nov. 17 and was receiving hospice care there. He passed the evening of Nov. 28. I didn't really have much of a relationship with my dad. My mom called all the shots and my dad just went along with it. There were other issues that I won't go into right now. I feel guilt and regrets that I never made much of an effort to improve the relationship over the years, although I was okay with it at the time. The typical hindsight thoughts. If only I knew it would happen now, I could of, would of done something differently. I was not a caregiver to him, which I also struggled with during the time he was on hospice care.
My mom was taken to the hospital at the same time as my dad. She had broken her hip in early Sept. and had been in rehab but was let to go home sooner than she should have been. Also, she could stay at their home because of the condition of the house.
So, both my parents were taken out of the house and I knew it was highly unlikely either one of them was every going to go home again. This is my childhood home so I felt as though everything I knew was over.
On Aug. 4th, I had to put one of our dogs to sleep. He was old and we knew it was coming, but it was still hard. Then on Oct. 21, our other dog was diagnosed with cancer around her heart and that the most humane thing to do was put her to sleep before she had to go through all the horrible things to come. I had her put to sleep on Oct. 24. That ripped my heart out. I just cried and cried and cried. While I have cried for my dad, somehow it isn't the same as I had for my dogs. I'm not sure why either.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
My mother died about a year before my dad. I did not mourn my mother, not that much anyway. She had been rather deeply in dementia (but still recognized her family members), so in a way we had been saying goodby to her for a few years. Just very slowly. I did not expect my dad to pass away when he did, so it was a shock to me. That hit me harder.
Pets, especially dogs, give us unconditional love. And they are very forgiving, especially ifyou are the one who feeds them! They don't care who you date, or get married to. As long as they are a dog person! They don't care what music you listen to, or what your sense of fashion is. They love you just the way you are when you are that way, and will love you the next way you are. That love is missed, and as such we grieve for it.
Hard.
There will always be the temptation to play the guilt game and wonder what if (fill in the blank). Even if you are an award winning doctor, specializing in what ever put your parent in the hospital, we are tempted to wonder and fret.
So unless you filled the IV bag with deadly poison, don't play that guilt game. We always lose that game. Me personally, I accept that I did the best I could; could have been better, could have been worse.
If your relationship with your father was somewhat distant at the end, then that will influence how much and how you grieve.
So welcome to the guilt club. AND I FIRE YOU FROM THE CLUB! Please, vent, yell, scream, lament, and do what ever it takes to sort this all out. Some of our suggestions may be spot on, others will be useless, so take what works and disregard the rest
Gentle hugs
Grief is horrible and painful.... I think we all have regrets.... I don't believe that anyone gets off without some.... We do the best that we can being imperfect people in an imperfect world
Another hug and a blessing....xo