Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Hello all, I just joined this group last night. I know some of you from other groups, but for those who haven't read my stuff already, here's my story. I'll try not to make it too long.
I lost my brother in August 2014. He was 40. Essentially, he drank himself to death. Years of constant alcohol consumption, and his body finally have out. My mom found him in his room (he'd moved back with our parents due to financial/economy struggles) and they tried to revive him, but he'd been gone for too long.
In February 2015, exactly one year ago today, actually, my grandmother passed. She was 94. She went peacefully in her sleep, she was ready. She had dementia and it progressed pretty quickly.
On February 5th this year, I lost my dad. He'd been diagnosed with lung cancer in November. It had spread to his bones, he had back issues for years, but the cancer made it worse. As a result, he was in a lot of pain, and spent a lot of time in bed. Most likely, and there was no autopsy, it was a pulmonary embolism. He'd just been out in oxygen, he actually felt a little better, but when my mom was getting him up for dinner, he slumped over and was gone immediately.
I'll probably get into details of my relationships with all of them in later posts, in the interest of (some) brevity, I won't get into that now. I will say that my brother and dad were hardest to handle. I don't know if it's logical, but I'm actually angry that it wasn't even the cancer that took my dad, which is more or less what we were expecting, further along down the line. Not suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere.
To all of you, I'm so sorry for your losses. I haven't read many posts yet, but if we're in a bereavement group, I don't need to read anything to know we're all hurting.
I lost my brother in August 2014. He was 40. Essentially, he drank himself to death. Years of constant alcohol consumption, and his body finally have out. My mom found him in his room (he'd moved back with our parents due to financial/economy struggles) and they tried to revive him, but he'd been gone for too long.
In February 2015, exactly one year ago today, actually, my grandmother passed. She was 94. She went peacefully in her sleep, she was ready. She had dementia and it progressed pretty quickly.
On February 5th this year, I lost my dad. He'd been diagnosed with lung cancer in November. It had spread to his bones, he had back issues for years, but the cancer made it worse. As a result, he was in a lot of pain, and spent a lot of time in bed. Most likely, and there was no autopsy, it was a pulmonary embolism. He'd just been out in oxygen, he actually felt a little better, but when my mom was getting him up for dinner, he slumped over and was gone immediately.
I'll probably get into details of my relationships with all of them in later posts, in the interest of (some) brevity, I won't get into that now. I will say that my brother and dad were hardest to handle. I don't know if it's logical, but I'm actually angry that it wasn't even the cancer that took my dad, which is more or less what we were expecting, further along down the line. Not suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere.
To all of you, I'm so sorry for your losses. I haven't read many posts yet, but if we're in a bereavement group, I don't need to read anything to know we're all hurting.
Many of us here have multiple losses. My sister died in August of 2011, Mom in August of 2014 and Dad in August of 2015. I was born in August, so August is going to be a hard month for me.
I am so very sorry for all your losses. My sister was unexpected, mom was very expected (she was to start hospice but she died a day before it started) and dad was sort of yes, sort of no. Sounds like your brother was expected but a long time in the coming, and that must have really been hard, knowing that he was killing himself slowly.
My dad's passing was unexpected. He did not have cancer, he was recovering from hip replacement surgery. I guess in the end I have opted to not try to play the "what if" game.
Gentle hugs
August will definitely be tough for you. Me too, since my brother died on the 8th and my dad's birthday is the 9th. Let's skip it this year.
And then this past October my friend passed away unexpectedly and in between all that I had two pet losses. One last year and one the year before.
I hope that through your heartbreak you will find some way to move forward when you are ready. Take your time and remember to give love to yourself. :) We are all here for you.
Thank you Angelic, I'm sorry for your losses as well. I wish somehow all of this were easier, that we could just accept and move on...instead of going through so much pain. But I guess the pain is what makes us human.
For me I feel like my losses have made me into a kinder person. Life is incredibly short and I want to spend it spreading kindness to many people as I can.
You are never alone Alana :) and just knowing that you aren't may make this heartbreak easier to get through. It's okay to cry and feel every emotion that comes up, because it is like you said. It makes you human. :)
You are right, we are not supposed to lose our parents at such a young age. We want them there for us for so many of our milestones in life.
How are you and your mother doing today?
I, on the other hand, cry often. If I talk about it, if I think about certain things, when that horrible mental picture of the exact moment he passed pops up. The faucet comes on.
My daughter hasn't cried, but she's been having behavioral problems since it happened. I think she's processing it differently and it's coming out as attitude instead of tears.