Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Dear other woman my name is vader and i am writing to you because i want you to know (if you dont) that Brad is dead and he died like he lived very mysteriously.He began to talk about you and talked about you constantly.He would say how wonderful you are and how you understood him.He would say that he would go straight if he wasnt with me,well this is my reply to you> i hope that the two of you got your jollies because what Brad told you about me simply isnt true.Number one...i aint in a wheelchair.I am hearing impaired and cannot hear well because of an accident and it is not my fault.Brad would get impatience with me and he would say that I never did anything about it.This is also a lie.I had hearing aids for years,but they kept breaking and the last time I sent them to be fixed....they were not the same.I paid 150.00 for them to be fixed and they squeaked so much that I am saying...why bother? Number two..where did Brad get off telling you that I never gave him any money? This is a lie.You see,Other Woman I am the one who paid all of the bills in the 12 years we were together.Brad never had a debit card,credit card or savingsaccount and if he were alive,I would ask him...what did he do with his money?I am the one who saved his hide.If he didnt live with me and I didnt pay the bills,he would be homeless and on the street.Brad for some reason (unbeknowst to me) simply did not like to save.I also am the one who kept the house in supply of the food and food for the cats.I am the ones who brought them the toys.I am the one.And I am the one who reminded Brad of his appointments...otherwise he would miss them and he would not care.When Brad was working,he would find fault about the job and people.I would tell him this...work is different today,Other Woman and I will tell you why.When I started to work in 1967...I was only making 1.00 an hour.That happens to be 40 dollars a week and that was full time.Back then,you could not say boo to your boss and live.You could get fired for reasons only known to him.If you were late more then 3 times...that was grounds for dismissal and if you had any serious problems at home...the boss did not want to know about them.Everything was closed then and the workers like me who needed the job were misereable.It is only the past ten years that the work force has changed and for this I am grateful.In seattle,you have coffee breaks and supports groups.In 1967.all you got was a lunch break and that is all.And the reason why I am not working is because noone wants to hire and it is because of my age.So I am doing little part time jobs to supplement my income.I dont make a lot of money,but at least it is a job and it is honest work.I am not a street corner pedddling my wares.I am not doing anything illegal.I happen to like to work and when I do work,I buy stuff for the cats and house and for myself and the rest i save which wasnt like Brad.Brad was clean and sober for five years and it was the best of our lives.Then he met you.A spider who manipulated him back into his old lifestyle and I couldnt save him this time.Brad has been in 12 different rehabs.And his family and I have had it.Brad should have known better but for some reason he gravited to people like you.Who dont really other people,you use them and you used Brad.On the 22nd of May 2009...i want to inform you I found his body.It was a very bloody scene and I held him for 10 minutes and he died in my arms.He was 49 and he lost.And when you have a suicide...people talk.I have heard the whispers and gossip.I have seen people pull away from me in the supermarket.And i know the reason why.You didnt have the right to do this.You dont have the right to interfer with other people and let me say this to you....I HATE YOUR GUTS AND I AM GLAD THAT I NEVER MET YOU.YOU I PUT IN THE CATERGORY OF KARLA HOMOLIKA.IF YOU DONT KNOW WHO SHE IS READ ABOUT THE EXPLOITS OF HER HUSBAND PAUL BERNARDO UP IN CANADA.YOU HELPED DESTROY BRAD AND FOR THIS..I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.
deleted_user
I understand your anger and it comes from your pain. I only have one thing to say. If my husband of 35 plus years decided to see soneone else, if her decided to lay to that person, and to take from me to give to her, I would not be angry with her. I took my vows with him. I don't care of she looks like Marolyn Monroe and had the heart of Mother Teresa. O don't care if she flirted, seduces or pops out of a cake in her birthday suit. I took my vows with HIM. He promised to respect, love, honor and protect me. He it the only one I have a right to get angry with. That is just my opinion. I met him at 17 and I have never given in to temptation. He owes me that. If he mets a hoocie mommy he has the power to walk away.
vader
thanks for your reply.And I may sound so angry,but I wasnt no kid when I met Brad.I was 48 and he was almost 37.And Brad had a tendency to overstate things and sometimes lie about the situation.I never took his money.He never had any.If it werent for me,Brad would have been homeless and living in his car.He had a very kiddish way of handling money but once he got it he was stingy.I paid for all of the bills.If I did not pay the rent,I would have been back with my late mom.Brad knew i was having problems and he also knew that I do believe in talking problems out.Brad had this atittude it is called Magical Thinking and it is so dangerous.Brad never talked about his problems.This woman told him that if he did not talk about something it would go away,but this is very immature.And he knew it.Brad was a athlete and anything with movement and i mean movement he would follow and do.Brad was also a golfer and would go to the range.And he had a mysterious friend.I never met him.Brad and him would go play golf and Brad would help him out.Anything with movement he would do.If you constantly have to have movement and cannot sit still and are always running for office....then you have a problem.Running for office is just another way to not face your problems.And anyone who have movement and needs it constantly...this is the hidden signs for manic depression.Brad told me that the doctor told him he was a manic depression and that he needed treatment.He never got it.He was taking pain killers because he got migrane headaches,but he never received any kind of treatment and did try.Brad tried AA and only went once.He told me that AA just had druggies and drunks and he wasnt like those people.I told him that those people could save his life and he laughed and then he told me all about her.He told me that she made 50,000 a year and i know better.SHe is lucky is she makes 5.And she was over the house and I caught him.Later he told me that he wasnt attracted me to and he called me ugly.I am sorry if I lost my looks.And I knew in my heart that Brad was miserable and will never be happy.He was searching for something that you cant have.In the 1980s The Rolling Stones recorded this song...You Cant ALways Get What You Want and Brad tried.He had a whole photo album of Heidi Klum.He had pictures of her on the wall.And I would tell him..Heidi is a very beautiful girl and she is lucky...but Brad wanted to go out with one of these models and he was a working man.This type of abuse started in 2006 3 years before and I should have left..but I couldnt.All of the shelters were full and I was worried about my cats and I had no place to go.Now i have a nice home and my cat.Kramer is one good cat and I love her very much.If Brad choose to leave...I should have left him..but this woman was like a spider and she filled his head up with looney tunes and this is what happens.These people are coming out of the woodwork and I dont intend to meet anyone of them.My dating days are over.I am giving up men completely.He was the love of my life and now he is gone.I dont like to date and really..I dont have a lot of clothes.It is casual here in seattle and I have a lot of jeans.I like to go out by myself and if I meet someone when I am out...more power to me.but this tragedy with Brad I will never get over and it is breaking my heart and everyday i try to survice and I am learning to survive without Brad and his knowledge.And I miss him.I miss him very much.Tell anyone who has problems to get help.Help is available and it may not be cheap....but it is out there and I wish he would have come to me sooner.Once again,.I thank you.Vader and the cat.
deleted_user
Oh Vader, I feel your anger. It seems you have done a lot and been through a lot. No one can judge you for being angry. You are a strong person, and let''s face it: we are all doing the best we can. I don't blame you for being angry, and I'm glad you found a place you can safely release your anger. Know that people care. I don't know you, but I feel like I know you. Hang in there. You have people who care about you.
deleted_user
maryc, I was and am not judging his anger. All people who are grieving have periods of time when they are very angry - myself included. We are angry with our loved one who died, angry at heartless people who mean well but aren't helping, angry at everyone and everyting even God. I was simply pointing out that his problem was with Brad. Brad let a person in his life that caused problems. Brad disrespected his love and Brad took his own life leaving this person in a shattered world at a time in his life where he is having one heck of a time staying alive and secure. He has a right to have hard feelings about that woman, who wouldn't! But Brad opened that door and that is the person the anger belongs to. If my husband lied about me to another woman and hurt me, you can bet I would have very hard feelings for her - but HE better sleep with one eye open, because he promised me on his life his unending love and respect.
Join the Conversation