My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer 4 years ago- she went into the hospital complaining of pain and they did surgery where they removed her gall bladder, and appendix - they said she seemed to be doing fine and that should fix the problem she was having with pain- then the doctor came out and said that it appears to be no signs of cancer and we all breathed a sigh of relief- mom had been in the hospital for a week and one day she called and told us to come see her and that she had something important to tell us- thinking it was good we drove to the hospital and when we got there - My Sis and I found our mom in tears. When we asked her what was wrong - she told us to wait for the doctor to explain- he came in and had no bedside manner at all- he looked at us with no emotion on his face and said " We sent some samples to the Lab - and your mom has Colon Cancer"- i remember thinking- ok this is a big joke because right after surgery he said there were no signs of cancer- how can this be ! But it was real and when the reality set in- we all 3 sat and cried together in that hospital room- me my sis and my mom. i remember thinking that she looked so helpless and fragile at that moment... so after we all calmed down - we were told that visiting hours were over and we had to leave- i don't know how we made it back home with my sis and i crying all the way and how she drove i have no idea- i couldn't see out my window and what i did see looked dark and gray... she fought her battle for 3 years - going through surgeries, chemo , and radiation- nothing worked- they said they simply didn't catch it in time... mom was eventually put in hospice care and i took care of her with the help of the hospice staff- she got sick quickly- one day she was fine and talking and joking with us walking around- the next they were bringing in a hospital bed and she couldn't do anything for herself. my mom hated depending on people so this was really hard for her and it was hard for me to just sit by and watch- i felt helpless- wasn't there something i could do to make her better ? but there wasn't- she got increasingly worse until she eventually went into a coma like state and didn't know who any of us were- the last conversation i had with her - she made me promise that she would get to die at home- i couldn't make that wish happen though- they took her to the hospital and 3 days later - my brother called and said we better come to see her - we were on our way out the door when the hospice volunteer showed up and she says " oh dear, don't u know , your momma is already gone- u can't go see her"... my sis and i just cried and hugged each other and she had to make the phone calls to the other family members and friends for us... the day we buried her was horrible- just as they lowered the casket- it started to rain and i thought even god is crying- my mom was considered to be by most people one of the kindest , sweetest , most giving and caring individual - that u could ever meet and was even called an angel on earth- and though i know she made her mistakes and wasn't perfect just like everyone else i know my mom is an angel in heaven and she is watching me and helping through my hardships in this life ... i love her and there isn't a day that goes by i don't wish she was still here so we could spend time together- i feel i never said i love u enough or spent enough time- and i don't know if that feeling will ever go away- but i can say after going through this- it does get better with time- though i won't say easier- cause it isn't easy to lose a mom no matter how long its been- i hope that this story will help someone who is going through this and if anyone out there needs support write me a email and i'll get back to ya as soon as i can ....
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