Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

My grief

SdcrojcF
SdcrojcF

My wife passed away in February. She was the love of my life. We met in 1974 when I got out of the army. I knew instantly that I was going to marry her but she was 16 and was 21. We were best friends for 10 years and then she almost died from a brain injury. Nobody thought that she would make it. My sister brought her to my house. She was embarrassed and I was speechless. I listened to them talk. They laughed at her because she scrambled her words. This angered me so I took her to talk in private. I noticed that she was on subject but her words weren't in the right order and wanted to reassure her. We talked and I let her speak without interruption. As she relaxed her speaking improved. I supported her through her recovery we married a year later. That was 35 years ago. I am the one with all the chronic health issues. I was shocked when she died. I am having a rough time. In some respect I am going on but in others I am lost and confused. Part of me wants to live and the other part wants me to die. I won't harm myself and see a psychu.

Scott46
Scott46
I'm so sorry about your dear wife. 35 years is a long time. Its only been a couple of months. And this quarantine doesn't help. What you are feeling is normal. And don't ever think that you'll just move on without her. You slowly will adapt to a new normal without her. But doesn't mean forgetting. And it wont just happen. Bereavement is a process. There's a lot to this; more than I can write here. I usually recommend grief therapy but you said you don't want that. There are support groups but most of them are on hold with the virus. There are dozens of good books on grief on Amzn. Some are faith-based and some are non-sectarian. And there are great web sites and youtube videos about grief. But its going to take time. God bless.
Lovedbutlost
Lovedbutlost
I can only imagine how much you must miss her. She sounded like an amazing lady. It is romantic how you helped her grow and then she helped you be happy. It is hard when a person has a chronic illness and the other spouse is the one that passes away. I have experienced something very similar and feel a little confused and lost about it. My heart goes out to you. Take care.
SdcrojcF
SdcrojcF
The worst thing is that she helped save me from dying at least three times when I only had minutes to survive
Scott46
Scott46
Why worst? If you had died she would be the one going through the grief.
SdcrojcF
SdcrojcF
That's true. I should have thought about that.