Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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vader 09/19/2009

Today my best friend called me to tell me that she has got colon cancer and it is incurable.Noone knows how she got this..but she was just to healthy..now i have a question...what do I do? She is in New York and I am in seattle.I try to call her everyday to cheer her up..but my best friend is dying and since 1999 I have lost several people whom I loved and needed.The death of Brad on 5/22/09 is still haunting me.My boyfriend Brad committed suicide.i found his body which was in the yard at our rental home and it will be 4 months and I am still in trauma.Brad left me with limited funds and no money really and I am on really shaky ground.We sold the motorcycle and cars to pay for the funeral...what was left over...was given to me.I still have enough to last me for quite some time..but with this of my best friend...I am in a very bad depression.Today i cried.I really cried.How can i be strong? Why is this happening? As for colon cancer...do you know that there are not any systoms.It is a silent killer and to all women and men over 50.......please watch your diet.Dont drink nor smoke..but get tested which is what i am going to do on Monday.This may sound like rambling but what can I do? How do I cope with a dying friend? Who do I talk to? There are no support groups that I can go to? If your best friend tells you tht she is dying and wont last until next year...what would you do? Please help me...vader.

saige1963 09/20/2009

For one thing and this is very important..just be there to listen to her.I know you live far away but she needs you even if it is just a phone call a day.Lots of people back away from someone who is sick or the surviving spouse because they don't want to make them cry but when I lost my husband,I didn't care if they made me cry.I needed support.
There are support groups,you just have to know how to find them.You can talk to people on here who have been through the same things and sometimes that's a lot better than counseling.There are some issues that counselors can never help with until they have been where we have been.
Look in your newspaper for support group meetings.We have tons here and this isn't a huge city.If you cannot find them there,maybe call a funeral home and ask about grief support groups.I don't know how it is in every other city but we have a funeral home that holds free meetings.I never did the support group thing when I lost my first hubby and I regret it.
I hope you can find what you need and I hope you can make some really good friends here.Keep reaching out.Good will come from it.
Hugs,Saige

vader 09/21/2009

thanks for your reply.It is still a shock.Brad will be dead for 4 months on Tuesday and I am still in a lot of pain.I have been busy decorating the house for halloween and I usually dont do this..but this year I felt to do something.Sandi is in a lot of pain and she told me that the end is nearly near.She passed blood today and i cant deal with this.I am looking for support groups right now cause i really need it.When she calls I dont know what to say to her anymore.How do you talk? What do you say without offering feelings?

deleted_user 09/22/2009

I lost my best friend of 35 years a few years ago. In those 35 years there was not one day that we did not talk. We were togeather for the births,deaths,and everthing else that comes up in life. We laughed togeather and we cried togeather. One day she called me and ask me to go for a ride with her. She said that she needed to talk and that she had something to tell me. We drove to a nearby river and as we walked beside the river she told me that she had cancer and it was to late for a cure. I was the first person that she told. We cried and talked for a very long time. She said that she had maybe a year to live. I felt the same as you. What do I say,and what do I do.I chose to be there for her. I listened when she needed to talk. I sit quitly when she just need to think. But I was there for her until the end. I was holding her hand as she died. The thing that I learned was do not be afraid to talk about the end. Your friend will need to talk about this time in her life. She will need to talk about her fears and her needs. She will need to talk about things that she can not talk to anyone else but her best friend.

vader 09/23/2009

thanks for all of your replieds.but how does a person deal with this? There are no support groups to help in seattle and I am trying to find out.I call her everyday to see how she is..but now she told me that the date will be in feb so I will have to talk to her more and try to understand more.She is talking about things I dont understand but i realize she wants to go.Ever since her mom died,she has been miserable.but she lives in New Jersey..and what can I do or say to make her feel better? Thanks again for all of you super help.vader.

deleted_user 09/23/2009

My best friend is fighting stage four breast cancer right now.... I am so scared to lose her... I think just letting her know you are there for her is the most important.. I lost my son a year ago and am still reeling from that so we are supporting each other.. please be good to yourself too as you are still very fresh in your grief...love to you...

vader 09/26/2009

thanks to all who replied.It is hectic.She is in New Jersey and i am in seattle.I dont know what to do or say to her.The doctors have told her that the cancer has spread and it is incurable.What can I do? what do I say? Any suggestions? This is maddening..thanks again.

deleted_user 09/26/2009

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