I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I lost five family members and two friends last year. It is very hard.

Always remember the good times with your sisters and how much you loved and cared for each other.

I talk with my family and friends that I have lost every day as if they were still here.

I will keep you in my prayers.

I lost my son to this horrible disease, he was 45 when he passed. My husband was there through all of it(not his dad)K I too like you , Ken was my best friend. I carried him when I was 16, barely 17 when he was born...I barely existed for 3 years..I would not get help from counselors or pastor why, I prayed for 28 months for my son...Now don't get me wrong I still maintained my relationship with Hod but hanging on by a string. Grief is a difficult journey. It comes when least expected, the heartache, the tears, the angre, and I found Itook it out on my husband. Three years later, I am still going from the couch to bed, Crying mostly or getting angry. On the 3rd anniversay of Ken's death it was like Ken kicked me in the butt and said Mom you didn't die so get up and live. So I tried...and now 7 years on Dec 30, I am living again. I still have my times when the loss overcomes me totlly again but the angre is not there. As you stated not only you lost your sister but your best friend, your have to grieve for both. As far as your wife, it is difficult for her. She may have had a relationship with your sister but different than yours. If it was me again I would seek out someone to help me through the pain. As like losing a child or sibling if you have not experienced it you can't feel that pain. I would try talking with your wife, get someone you can share with a counselor type. There are tools they can help you with that you can't really do alone. Talk to your wire and ask if you go for counseling could you two try to get through your marriage. It is difficult for the spouse. A couple years ago, after realizing i used my husband for my sounding board, my pain, my angre, I thanked him for sticking it out with me and looking back I had to say ' I relly don't know why you stayed". If you can and want to save your marriage, seak help for your grief outdide the home, and at one point you and your wife can grieve together. Accourding to her relationship with your sister, she is grieving too...Best to you and the journey is difficult but its baby steps and also watching your sister as I watched my son as the cancer take them away, i also learned I was going through PTS..Relidving every mintue of what the cancer did to my strong Macho som. I hope in sharing that some answer will come...Sandi

Cancer is such an insidious disease. I lost my mom and my aunt to it. My mom was my best friend. At the end of Feb it will be 21 years since my mom passed and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. There is a huge hole in my heart.

perhaps you should seek grief counseling, that might help. Or a support group (offline) but in the meantime we're here for you Hugs

Thanks all. I'm am working with a counselor who is helping me recognize that what I'm going through is a normal part of grief (loss of appetite and rapid weight loss, lack of sleep, huge waves of despair and anxiety, etc....) It's helping.

My wife currently needs some space from me, so we aren't able to talk or see a counselor together yet. Hopefully that point will come soon. My emotions have been all over the place since my sister died, and I put those feelings all on my wife. I relied on her to feel better when I should have taken responsibility for what I was feeling myself. It's not her job to make me feel better.

I am so very sorry for your loss.... Grief is very painful and it often happens when a loved one is still living
There are stages to grief and sometimes we can get stuck in a stage.... Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote wonderful books on death and dying.... Very informative
You have so much going on right now if you aren't in counselling I would try and get into some if you possibly can.... Bereavement groups in RL can also be helpful..... Big hug for you and a blessing...xo

very sorry you are going through that

I'm sorry for your loss! I'm sending thoughts and prayers to you during your difficult time!

loss I know what its all about and I still can't deal with it. I am just a little over a week into it, it gets so quiet being alone. 33 is way too young, only the good die young, music helps me, find a couple good songs and never forget. I hate loss. find those good memories and just relive them.