Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I really don't know what to say, as I have never joined a support group or talked to people that I don't know. I guess I am at a point in my grieving that I need to know that others are going through the same things that I am and would like to know how you all are handling the feelings that come along with losing a mom (or dad). My mom was my hero, my best friend, my everything and all I ever wanted to be in life.
I just turned 40 in Dec 2014 and I have two teenage children - all of us were VERY close to my mom. On Dec 27, 2013, my mom was diagnosed with COPD and stage 4 cancer. She was cancer ridden in her left lung, her liver and two spots in her back bones. She started chemo right away and before we knew it the cancer was almost 100% gone! We were all ecstatic. She was tired from all of the chemo, in addition to the 10 rounds of radiation that she did just to ensure that the cancer did not spread to her brain. My mom was a strong, wonderful, independent, amazing woman. She moved in with me two weeks after being diagnosed and I cared for her the best that I knew how. Now that she's gone I feel like there is so much that I could have and should have done. She passed on away on October 23, 2014 in her home state of NC, while she was there visiting her family. Since her passing, not only have I lost her, but I also lost the man that raised me and called me his daughter for 34 years of my life, my biological brother and all of my mom's family. My mom moved us to FL when I was a very young child and this is where she raised me, so none of her family knew me, per say. Everyone always told me that I was her everything, as well as her. She would tell me daily that I was her hero and how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. Some days I cry all day and I miss her so much every day that my heart physically aches. I think I have done a pretty good job dealing with it, but I always feel so lost! I feel like there are so many things that I wanted to say to her that I didn't before she passed.
Honestly, I never thought that she wouldn't fight the cancer! It was like it happened overnight! One day she was great!!! Then she went to see her family and the next thing I knew she was in the hospital and from there we took her home and the next thing that I knew Hospice was coming in!! I found her not breathing......and her husband (the man that disowned me after 34 years, for a reason that I am unaware of) said "Amen" when I said she wasn't breathing anymore. I was more than devastated!
The plan was that we were not going to have any services. Once my mom passed, I left and headed back to FL. In the meantime, my mom's husband, her entire family and my brother - had a service for her and NOT ONE OF THEM TOLD ME!!!
At that time, I took upon myself to have a celebration of life for the woman that made me who I am today - and I am proud of her and I am proud of who I have become! Shame on them for acting the way that they did!
There is never a day that goes by that I don't miss her, talk to her, and remember that I am the luckiest woman alive to have been blessed with her in my life
I just turned 40 in Dec 2014 and I have two teenage children - all of us were VERY close to my mom. On Dec 27, 2013, my mom was diagnosed with COPD and stage 4 cancer. She was cancer ridden in her left lung, her liver and two spots in her back bones. She started chemo right away and before we knew it the cancer was almost 100% gone! We were all ecstatic. She was tired from all of the chemo, in addition to the 10 rounds of radiation that she did just to ensure that the cancer did not spread to her brain. My mom was a strong, wonderful, independent, amazing woman. She moved in with me two weeks after being diagnosed and I cared for her the best that I knew how. Now that she's gone I feel like there is so much that I could have and should have done. She passed on away on October 23, 2014 in her home state of NC, while she was there visiting her family. Since her passing, not only have I lost her, but I also lost the man that raised me and called me his daughter for 34 years of my life, my biological brother and all of my mom's family. My mom moved us to FL when I was a very young child and this is where she raised me, so none of her family knew me, per say. Everyone always told me that I was her everything, as well as her. She would tell me daily that I was her hero and how much she loved me and how proud she was of me. Some days I cry all day and I miss her so much every day that my heart physically aches. I think I have done a pretty good job dealing with it, but I always feel so lost! I feel like there are so many things that I wanted to say to her that I didn't before she passed.
Honestly, I never thought that she wouldn't fight the cancer! It was like it happened overnight! One day she was great!!! Then she went to see her family and the next thing I knew she was in the hospital and from there we took her home and the next thing that I knew Hospice was coming in!! I found her not breathing......and her husband (the man that disowned me after 34 years, for a reason that I am unaware of) said "Amen" when I said she wasn't breathing anymore. I was more than devastated!
The plan was that we were not going to have any services. Once my mom passed, I left and headed back to FL. In the meantime, my mom's husband, her entire family and my brother - had a service for her and NOT ONE OF THEM TOLD ME!!!
At that time, I took upon myself to have a celebration of life for the woman that made me who I am today - and I am proud of her and I am proud of who I have become! Shame on them for acting the way that they did!
There is never a day that goes by that I don't miss her, talk to her, and remember that I am the luckiest woman alive to have been blessed with her in my life
She and I were very close too. I am the same age as you and have a 10 and 14 year old here were very close to their Grandma as well.
Hugs to you!!
I try to find ways to keep her close. I make her recipes. When I am cooking in my kitchen, I think of her and smile. I imagine her cooking and she is vibrant and happy, not bedridden and feeble like the last few weeks of her life. I tell my girls story about her. I tell them how much I miss her, and I'm not afraid to cry. I visit the cemetery with flowers sometimes.
I guess the bottom line is that I strive to find ways to keep her presence in my life. It's not the same and it's definitely not easy. I have sought bereavement counseling that has helped, and I also joined a group for women that have lost a parent and made some very valuable friendships. Best wishes to you going forward.
I lost my Mom on Jul 26, 2014 364 days after my grandmother , and my stepmother in Sept. Mom had MS and COPD but died suddenly. Being the oldest, I was always the strong one who took care of everybody, but I am finding it hard and wish I had told Mom just how much i really did need her.
Hugs to you!
I lost my mom 5 years back and life has not been the same since her. I was so close to her, it almost felt like she was my twin. Losing her meant I lost everything that was attached to her - the love, the food, the recipes, the perks of being her daughter...and so much more. I have felt lost for a very long time and still do, sometimes.
It gets easier sweetheart, please trust me when I say this to you. It will not vanish magically, but you'll get there when it's time. Till then, spend time with your kids, eat and sleep well, write down your feelings for her, get support from the wonderful people on DS and take one day at a time.
Please know that your mom chose to be close to you on her final days, there is no funeral/service that can take that away from you.
Much Love,
J