Big hug for you Meg..... I'm sorry that you are hurting so badly.... My mom was the person I was closest to in the world... It still seems a little unreal at times that she's no longer here.... So I hear you

I don't know how long ago your mom passed? ... I think we 'move on' because that's the choice that we have.....We live however that doesn't make grief any less painful and hard

A RL bereavement group might be a help for you as well or some therapy to help you to work through it

If you think that you've been grieving for too long and that the grief might have triggered falling into a depression I would make an appt to see your doctor.... Do you think you might have post part um depression?

I'm glad that you're here reaching out.... DS is a good site for support..... Big hug and a blessing....xo

Hi. I am sorry to hear of your loss. Noone should have to go through this amount of pain. I lost my mom 12 years ago and ive just started facing the grief i never felt. I dont know why i am the only one in my family who has taken so long to 'move on'. Sometimes life doesnt make sense and that hurts so bad. So many times I just want to function but then I try to remind myself that just feeling those feelings of grief, as hard as it may be, is okay, and that somehow things will be okay in the future.
Are you seeing any grief counsellor or therapist? I know it sounds cliche but I have been doing eft and regular complicated grief counselling and they gave me so many techniques on how to ride the towering waves of grief whilst also functioning day to day. I cant say it always helps, and i dont feel myself but at least i know i have their support.
Loosing someone is never okay and whichever route of grief you experience is okay. Eft and the right types of guided meditation can help the stuck feeling and get out of your mind.
Also try to accept the way you feel and repeat to yourself 'what if i could just let this all be okay somehow'. I find this helps generally but finding the right support is the most helpful in the long run.

All the best,

Sarah

I am so sorry. I am sending you hugs and prayers x.

Iam so sorry for your loss. Your right know one knows the feeling until they are in the same shoes. I pray in time for it to get easier for you. Pam.

I know exactly what your feeling, talk to your husband about your ma, seems to help me when you have someone to talk to, tell him stories about her. try to invoke those feelings, don't let them creep up. I'm no professional this is just what im trying. I was very close with my father, now i'm here all alone. Our parents had that unconditional everlasting love for us and that is why we miss them.
One other thing i would recommend is to do something that she liked to do even if it didn't interest you before.

In kind regards, ryan

Meg,

Sending a hug your way. It is definintly tough losing a mother. It's the worst feeling in the world. It seems like everyone around you has "moved on" but you are stuck. I know. I am in the same boat (my mom passed away 12/31). Some days are ok and other days I just want to crawl in a dark cave. I wonder when this pain will ease up a little. What tickclicker said "Parents had that unconditional love for us" is true. They loved us no matter what and losing that love is hard to accept. Someone sent this to me (I edited it to be specific to me) and I am going to try to read it everyday to help with my greiving. Sorry it's long.

What I’m learning in my journey of grief due to the loss of my precious mother.... for starters, never knowing what to expect emotionally by simply opening my eyes each morning....

1. Some days I will feel like the world should end because it seems it has ended for me. But it hasn't. Life does goes on, as it should because I still have my husband, my family and a multitude of friends. I’m now just simply trying to cope with a new normal.

2. No matter how bad a day feels, it is only a day. When I go to sleep crying, I wake up to a new day much like the day before.

3. Grief definitely comes in waves. I may be okay one hour and then cut to my knees the next. I try to go with the flow of what my heart and mind is feeling and cope until … well, just until.

4. It’s okay to cry, even if it makes other people uncomfortable or they feel you shouldn’t… by now .. I say it’s okay to cry and to do it often. But, I MUST learn it's okay to laugh too and not feel guilty when feeling positive emotions. I am blessed to family and friends who I love with all my heart .. who let me know they love me … they can make me laugh, feel loved and make my life worth living. I love them all the same yet different because they’ve all made their own nitch in my one heart.

5. Sometimes, I find myself getting comfortable in my “aloneness” and have a tendency to shut people out. It’s not good to cut yourself off from relationships… I know. It hurts me and others without any intention of doing either.

6. I’m learning no one will or can respond perfectly to my grief. People will let me down. Friends I thought would understand, don’t. And people I hardly know will reach out. I try to give others grace and work through hurt & forgiveness at others reactions. Most mean well, I just sometimes react wrong.

7. God IS there for me ALWAYS. He lets me scream, cry & question. Throw all my emotions at Him. He is near to the broken hearted is more a reality to me today than it has ever been.

8. I’m learning that there is nowhere to hide from pain. It demands to be felt and is going to surface so it’s best if I just face it rather than try to run from it. It’s a natural process and to go against the nature of it is to cause unhealthy feelings to fester, grow and I fear it could ultimately consume me. I have a helper and I must lean on Him, even when, or better, especially when, I have no understanding.

9. I have found myself asking "Why?" more times than I would have thought possible. Realizing I may never get the answer. There is a thought of another “word” that comes that I have not fully embraced yet, but, with God’s help I want to come to be able to ask “How?” How can I live life more fully to honor you, mom? How can I love better? How can I embrace others? How can I change, grow and be prepared to help someone else who bears the burden and torment of loss of a parent?

10. I have learned that being busy and trying not to “think about it” does not make it go away. Again, pain demands to be felt. There is no real healing, only learning to live with the loss here and be thankful for the Hope of reunion in Our Father’s House.

11. Don’t dwell on “what if’s”, “I wonder did she know”, “I wonder if she ever”, “I wonder if/what”, “I wish I had”, “I didn’t do enough of”, “I didn’t say enough” ……

12. It's okay to ask for help or a listening ear…. It's okay to need people. It's okay! It's okay! It's okay!

I’m learning that my mother’s death is FOREVER a part of who I am, who our family is, All of us.. Although it is hard to accept .... with much love and happiness I realize more and more.. Her life had such an impact on all of us and as with the loss of anybody or anything, you never know JUST HOW MUCH … and for a certainty, She continues now and will forever impact and be a continual part of us in this life until God calls the rest of us.. all together or one by one.

I am so very sorry for your loss Meg, I lost my mother almost 3 yrs ago and the pain is still hard to deal with at times. She had me when she was 17 so we basically grew up together. She was my very best friend in the whole world, I miss her terribly. She was 80 yrs old and I know she was ready in her body and spiritually. My comfort comes from knowing she is not in pain anymore and she is waiting for me when God calls me home. Sending love and prayers for healing.

I am sorry for your loss; each loss is different, and no two people respond to the "same loss" the same way.

I have learned one thing that I would add to the above list. While it is true that nobody can replace the person we lost, we must not preserve that hole in our spirit out of loyalty to that person. We need to start letting people into that hole in order for us to feel whole again.

We can divide up that hole and allow different people to fill it. For example, if you loved your mother's apple pie (or the way she could change a flat tire in 30 seconds flat) allow somebody else to be that person. If shopping for the perfect pair of shoes was something you two did, allow somebody else to share that with you. Likewise with talking about your favorite TV show, or any other thing that you used to share with her.

And we can all "bump ourselves up a generation". Instead of looking to our parent for advice about stuff, it may be time that we make ourselves available to our children (and extended family and younger friends) as they seek advice.

For me, my son and I talk about wood working projects. (It used to be me and my dad) I talk to my daughter about navigating the world of office politics. (It used to be me and my dad).

Gentle hugs as you come to grips with your new normal.

Thank you all for your kind words and support. Means the world to me

Hello, I definitely understand you pain and your grief. Most people wont understand your grief because we all grieve differently and it's more painful when we are grieving the woman that carried us for 9 months, went through labor pains and gave birth to us and raised us. My mom passed 01/16/17 and im a complete mess. I did start grief counseling because it helps and im praying to God that he helps me to first accept my reality so that i can move on to the next stage of my grief. Every one talks about the NEW NORMAL, what is that? No one should be getting annoyed with you because you miss your mom. Listening to God's word and gospel music has helped to sooth my soul. I find comfort in music. I had the same conversation with my brothers because it appeared to me that they were able to move on and im still here stuck. I cry everyday and if you need to cry, please do so and as often as you like. Stay encouraged and if you are not moving on, it's ok. It will just take you a little more time. Im taking it hour by hour. I dont try to be strong or act as though i'm moving forward because in reality, the GLUE that has held me together for so long is no longer there so its expected of me, to come undone until i can get a grip of my life. Talk to God. He is the only true comforter.

My mom passed away 1/3/17 of an accident. I never felt lost as I am today.