So sorry for your loss, I lost my husband 6 weeks ago to kidney cancer. He fought for 2 and a half yrs. and still wanted to keep going for me. The hardest thing I did was to tell him it was ok to go to heaven it was time. He did later that day. Yes I was angry at first he left me after I went home, I wanted to be there. Still somewhat angry at God for taking him from me. The numbness part has worn off and now I realize he isn't coming back to me. I'm 43 I don't want to be alone.
Do you have children? We have a 15 yr old left at home, helps but not the same. I do help the pain eases for you soon.
Hugs Julie

my heart goes out to you my love xx

I have 2 grown sons, a step son also grown and a grand-daughter. My grand-daughter and son live close by and are a great comfort. I am 54 and we had so many plans for retirement. Before his illness we were looking at retiring in 2 years so we could have time together traveling and just puttering around the house. Now I just can't see what the future looks like.

Give yourself some time. April is not that long ago. You don't "get over" the death of a spouse you love that fast.

Maybe a real life bereavement group? I know several people that has really helped. You will never be the same as your were, but you can move towards a "new normal".

Hugs. Still missing my dad - who died last fall. But knowing he is not in pain and suffering helps some days.

my prayers for you,cathylynn,may God keep you warm and hope you feel peace and strength in your heart by Gods grace in this difficult time.
Regards.r

My heart goes out to you as well, I lost my mother to lung cancer in November. I still suffer from waves of grief, and I miss her so much. The pain will never go away but it gets a little easier to manage. Try to be gentle with yourself, allow yourself to go through the grieving process, and we will be here to help anytime you reach out. Wishing you comfort and peace....Hugs.....Lori

I am very sorry for your loss, i know what you are going through, i lost my husband this past april (4-19-2012), he was my soul mate, and best friend, we were married 23 years, and this comming october we would have celebrated our 24th anniversary, he had a heart attack, he had been sick with heart disease these past few years, and had several heart attacks, he did not want to leave me alone, he worried about what would happen to me if he died, he fought a long hard battle till the end, i am so glad that he is with God and not in pain anymore, but for me it is the most painful thing ever!! i never went anywhere without my husband, i miss him every second of every day, i walk around fighting off panic attacks, and i feel like its hard for me to breathe all the time, all his things are here but he isn't, i have no idea how to move forward without him, we never had any children, and i am not very social so i do not have any close friends, my husband was my best friend and whole world..it is just so hard! so my heart does go out to you because i know how hard it is..i am 51 , and it is so lonely!

I lost my husband to cancer too,and too I thought I'd be ok -I'm not in anyway ok.Thinking of you -we are here for you