I'm so sorry!!! I lost my 24-year-old son 4+ years ago. I know of your pain and hiding your feelings. Please share whatever you would like; I'm here to listen and help! Take it just one moment at a time.

so so sorry lost first brother to lymphoma 8 mos ago you are not alone

my brother went to a friends house for a drink which resulted in him being dared to drink 2 500ml bottles of a concoction the same level as 2 bottles of whisky, he was autistic and was the type of lad who would do anything to fit in with friends, its the 1st anniversary of his death on the 26th feb and i dont know what to do

Hi Tax.I have not been on this sight since my only brother died last year February 4th.I can relate to you saying you don't share with others.I talk to my husband but I can't embrace other family members for I feel like they discount my feelings.I am sorry to hear of this tragedy of your brother and the pain your feeling.On my brothers 1st yr anniversary of his passing I decided to do what helps me most.I went to the beach.I ended up gathering alot of stones and I'm going to make something with them.I also listen to music that he liked,sometimes I just cry and release other times I laugh uncontrollably thinking of his smile.Then I dance and dance till I am exhausted,then take a hot shower to relax.
I hope you find some way to move through your pain.I'll be thinking of you as I ride my own wave of grief.
Blessings

wow just want to say sorry for all those losses,, my first sibling has died of lymphoma ,, it has been eight mos, i did not go to the funeral,,, alot of family toxic baggage,,, i had to deal with abuse i suffered form my brotrher and it made me have angry outbursts many folks dont understand that grieving is so hard and it brings out many emotions we all cope differently for me ,, i had been outcast for being different my brother did not like gays,,, and yet i knew he did love me and i loved him even though we were esteanged everybody has issues and loosses and grief sometimes bring it out,,, i have been journaling,, not really understanding why people are the way they are some show no compassion,, or understanding as i am older ie 60 guess folks think oh well it is supposed to happen no getting older is not the issue many folks lose people young and old i encouage everyone to use it as a time of growth, change, embrace the pain, be loving and patient with yourself it is a rollercoaster ride

"my brother went to a friends house for a drink which resulted in him being dared to drink 2 500ml bottles of a concoction the same level as 2 bottles of whisky, he was autistic and was the type of lad who would do anything to fit in with friends, its the 1st anniversary of his death on the 26th feb and i dont know what to do "

That's horrible. I'd feel like screaming too. I realize it won't bring your brother back, but is there any legal recourse against those "friends" of his? That might indeed be a lesser degree of homicide.

Hi, I am new to this sight. My brother died 8 years ago this month and my husband died 5 years ago this month..March is a very difficult month for me. My brothers birthday was march 3rd. I never talk about him and neither does anyone else. ...except for my mom who brings him up almost daily when we talk on the phone....but mostly she just talks about herself and her guilt and her pain. When it first happened no one talked to me then maybe 3 or 4 relatives called. Mostly they were there for my mom. Which is understandable. But I feel that my pain has been experienced mostly in isolation . When my husband died it got worse. I lost even more people. People seem to avoid me like I have leprosy. I think they just can't deal with what they think I might be needing. I'm not sure. But I have learned over the last 4 years or so to keep it to myself I try my best not to tell anyone. When they hear about my husband they always say "wow, that's so awful, how are the kids handling it?" then they kind of move away from me and all I get is a wave when I see people after that...I never bring up my brother. I learned early on not to ever tell anyone the nature of his death..they always ask three things"why did he do it?,,,how did he do it? and were you close?" I especially hate the last question. Anyway I know how much it hurts as a sister and how it makes you see everything so differently. I panic when I get a phone call right after I put my kids on the bus. I always call my older sons anytime I hear there is an accident on the news and they don't say who it was.... I don't know if I will ever be over it completely

my name is vader.I am 67 years old and i am old enough to be your great grandmother.I am so sorry for your loss.You see,in August of 2004 I lost my older brother 68 to diabetes and it just doesnt seem right to me no more.I have tried to be nice to everyone and I am in the processing of moving on.I moved to a different apartment and I still have all of his pictures,which i have hung on the wall.Let me say this....you are not alone and any time you want to talk...e mail me and i will be here to listen.Frank was the oldest and he was the one who held the family together and I have another brother....but Frank is the one whom we looked up to.He was the most postivie person that I have known and funny too.I try to be nice and postivie..but it doesnt help.I miss Frank and so do a lot of other people.Losing a brother is like losing your arm and i do not think that i will ever get over it.vader

I'm so sorry for your loss, my condolences. I lost my sister, Beth, 2 weeks ago to an accidental od of Rx meds...and she was just becoming happy again after the death of her partner 2 years ago.

Who knows what plans He has for us? Try to carry on, talk about your brother and say his name so all who knew him can remember.

Hugs! Peggy

Taz, I am so sorry for your loss and I understand your grief. I lost my son last year in June. It is the hardest thing I have ever been through. My oldest son who is 34 has had a difficult time in grief also. Similar to your situation, he wasn't able to grieve right away and is still suffering. I have been able to work through my grief. I embraced my feelings. Listened to songs my deceased son loved, think about him constantly, I have pictures of him that I talk to as if he is still here. Its not easy! Like you I feel it's not right that he had to be taken from us. Non the less; we have to accept that the Lord has them in a beautiful place and they ARE watching us. They are still here with us spiritually. HUGS

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother 9 years ago. The pain never seems to go away, just gets different. This is the prefect site to be on just to vent, tell stories or come for support.