Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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maisr 02/01/2016

I have her ashes in my living room and put my hand on top of the urn as I say good night I love and miss you. I feel in a way as though her death was my fault. I was admitted to my local hospital. the very end of Nov I have been told several times that once my mom heard I was in the hospital her health went straight hill. So if I wasn't in the hospital maybe she would still be here. I was put in the hospital for my breathing. I keep remember her saying I have to make it till the 3rd of what month I'm or I would lose her government check. fear scare She also told me of her one scare she was afraid she would die alone.. Hospice came to me in the hospital telling me I had better get to the nursing home. Once I told her I was discharged from the hospital and was sitting beside her. She passed about 15 minutes once I told her that. I keep wishing this whole thing would just a nightmare I will soon wake up. The nurses at the nursing home told be they saw I was there everyday maybe even twice.

ThePepperMan 02/01/2016

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I am sure you have heard this from many people, but you can not be responsible for your mother's death. She may have contributed to her passing by excessive worry about you and your health, but that is not your fault. Were you supposed to lie to her every time you had a health issue?

Again I am so very sorry for your loss, and please, it is not your fault.

maisr 02/02/2016

I wish to thank both of you for your reply. I guess I'm too new at this. I lost my father back in 1986 I don't think it hurt this much.

ThePepperMan 02/02/2016

The loss of my father hit me the hardest, in a away it was because it marked the passing of both my parents. So in a way I was morning for both him and being and "orphan".

Reelin4real 02/05/2016

In no way should you be blaming yourself for your mothers death, and even tho' i don't know you or her it doesn't sound like she was the kind of mother who would want you to do so and live with such unnecessary burdens.

You were/are a good daughter. She is now in a higher realm, with no pain. She was practical and looking out for you 'till the end. Props&Kudos to her! That should be her legacy.

& i bet she had it all figured out that eventually all of us pass on from this realm, and felt blessed that she got so much time with such a loving daughter. A daughter who should now go and enjoy this realm as much as possible, while still able, happy that she did right to her mom to the end.

{{hugz}}

hollowheart 02/05/2016

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounded like she really did go downhill fast. But I hope you can someday see it is not your fault. I know that it's easier said than done to say don't blame yourself and feel guilty. But if she was the type of person that would worry like that then there was nothing you could have done to change that. All parents worry about their children anyway, no matter how old they get.

She didn't pass away alone and she passed away knowing you were safe and not in the hospital. I realize now guilt is the number 1 thing we feel when someone dies. Don't I know it. Deep down we want to save them, but sometimes we just can't. That hurts more than we can bear.

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