Bereavement Support Group
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In 2010 my mom passed away after a sudden illness. She was in the hospital for about three weeks. I took it very hard and was grieving all this time.
This past summer, my dad came to visit my husband, my 15 year old daughter and myself. He had planned on going back to my brother’s place in Washington state when the summer was over.
He ended up getting very sick about 2 months after he got here. That is when we got the diagnoses of his lung cancer returning and it had metastasized to his liver.
In November, he ended up back in the hospital with a server case of walking pneumonia. When they did his chest X-rays, they found the cancer had now spread to his vertebrae. This was a heavy blow, as we knew it was only a matter of time before he would lose his fight. He was sent home on hospice care. During his care, he was alert, in good spirits, and just as humorous as he always was.
The morning of January 20th, my husband woke me up at around 8 am. My father had passed away in his sleep. My life just stopped. I wasn’t dealing with his passing like I did with my mom. I did not feel sadness, no anger, no joy... just numb.
i still have not spent much time crying or grieving. I have had a few moments of tears. I worry that I won’t be able to grieve, like my emotions have just completely shut off to all sadness. I haven’t been able to go in his room since that morning. I’m not afraid of what I will find, but what won’t be there, and then I am so afraid of my feeling coming out in floods.
Mid there is anyone else that may have felt this way after a loved one has passed, please give me guidance?
I hated God but in 2008 I went to yg was memt be for something dad gf got wrong week I ended up being taken in as the yg family and they turned me to God so I lorlst both my parents my arunty on mum side is bitch only family got is gdad and church family who are alive
on earth and care. So if I can't get through that then you going get though don't lose faith Push prayer pray until something happens:)
I got along much better early on than later, though I did cry some. God bless. Will keep you in prayer.
I'm not saying you are doing it wrong, just that I don't understand it, and that a professional would be better to help get you started on the journey. Take your husband to the initial session if you fear you may not be able to get words out.
There is not a single "right way" to grieve the loss of your last parent. We all do it differently based on our individual needs and situation.
There is a path from where you are to where you want to be.
gentle hugs
June 6 he was having a difficult time breathing we called an ambulance June the 9th my dad was sent home with hospice terminal lung cancer. Aug 25 I was privilege enough to help him die legally with dignity. Can I say privilege because I didn't allow my dad to suffer or linger. And heartbreaking as it was and I thought I was ready because he came to me to help he didn't think my mom and my brothers were strong enough and he had already coordinated it through hospice I guess he knew I would say yes because I wouldn't want my mom and my brothers to live with that. Wasn't as ready as I thought I was too this day I can't be in the room with an oxygen machine that makes it kind of difficult when you're in the home health profession which I was in college. When he passed and that's what I went into doing 2 Years after he passed I won't sugar coat it and say it gets easier with time. You just learn to live with your pain and manage it. Some days it's Pandora's Box being open and you're just a mess and other days you don't think about it too much and then there are the days that you laugh at awesome memories. The first holiday for the worst Christmas is my dad's favorite he was the epitome of a grumpy old man World War 2 vet very straitlaced and straight not a big hugger except Christmas Christmas time he was a big old kid I kept my dad's cardigan sweater and anytime I'm feeling down about life I'll put it on and it kind of feels like he's with me and you probably don't see it right now but you will you had a precious gift in that short time yes you knew what was coming and yes it hurts but what I'm most thankful for is that he wasnt snatched away without warning and he didn't leave any Loose Ends. He talked to his sisters he had been estranged from for many years The only loose end left I made sure he didn't know in the end he had gone blind and my sister would not come see him she couldn't handle it so I pretended to be her so he could say what he needed to say she never got past the divorce between my dad and her mom even though her mom admittedly without shame cheated on my dad but that's my sisters regret to live with. I watched my dad sister and cry for her and she would not come I would not let him suffer hurting for
her. She actually had the nerve to ask me what he said I wasn't willing to obliged her request. I wouldn't want anybody to have to die that way but knowing the time that I had with him that we all had with him made me realize that I should end every day with no loose ends in my house we have a rule doesn't matter how angry you are if you're walking out the door to go cool off if you're slamming doors so you can go cool off you don't shut that door until you say I love you then you can go cool.off kick stomp whatever but never ever leave without even an angry pouting I love you but I'm mad. I love you
I have the same kind of thing going on my mom was sick for a while but her last 3 years where tougher, we had our eye on her and her needs and cares
then out of the blue my dad had cancer and die a short 35 days later it was
so awful and fast and he was in real bad pain and we started kimo it just took out all his white blood cells and he got sick and was gone....
. now I had mom
for a while i thought i would have a double funeral after a couple months mom moved in with us and got a drain so we could remove fluids from around her lungs at home and this was a huge blessing she got a lot better and lived another year in a half. then she die when she started the medicine for Heptic C. we took her to the hospital and she came home on hospics
and die here in my home. 12 days later. My mom and I where best Friends and i miss her soooo. --- I have learned that gratitude and sorrow can not stay in the same space to long. so I try to replace the pain and tears with gratitude. For so long I just went around saying don't cry don't cry
I have stopped that now I might be healing a little
Back to your question I lost my dad - 11-19-14 and mom on 5-26-2016
I don,t think I took the time to grieve dad I don't know how that happened
I was so worried about mom I sure miss them both now. it took a few hard
days to realized I was really missing my dad while work through the pain with losing my mom I feel like that was wired because how could I move on with that pain and I can't move on with this pain. Its just a lot take your time you have a right to feel the way you do. time will help, I never went and talk to any one I thought I was fine but I am not but I will be and I normal