Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
On June 28, I came home from class at about 10:00. There were a bunch of police cars and an ambulance in front of my house. My father came outside and told me my brother had died. My mother had found him in his room not breathing. She called 911 and tried to get him to breath but he was already dead. He had had a drug problem and they found heroin in his room. He had died of an overdose
We took him to Ohio to bury him (since that's where most of our family lives). On the plane back to Georgia, I could not stop crying. I felt like we were leaving him behind to just go on without him. We went back up there two weeks later. The grave was still fresh, but grass was starting to grow over it and I just broke down again.
His girlfriend thinks he killed himself. We found pawn tickets from the day before he died and he had pawned a lot of his favorite things.
I'm sad, angry, lonely. I can't help but think that I could have helped him. Maybe he'd still be alive. I just know that he shouldn't have died like this. He was only 23.
We took him to Ohio to bury him (since that's where most of our family lives). On the plane back to Georgia, I could not stop crying. I felt like we were leaving him behind to just go on without him. We went back up there two weeks later. The grave was still fresh, but grass was starting to grow over it and I just broke down again.
His girlfriend thinks he killed himself. We found pawn tickets from the day before he died and he had pawned a lot of his favorite things.
I'm sad, angry, lonely. I can't help but think that I could have helped him. Maybe he'd still be alive. I just know that he shouldn't have died like this. He was only 23.
I think he was 23, he was a grown man, not a child and this was his choice. I hate it, but I can't blame it on a tragic accident. Maybe your brother was crying for help, but we will never know and we can't change it.
I can understand feeling so bad you don't want to go on, but then actually doing something about it is another matter. I have tortured myself thinking how much pain he must have been in in his head to coldly plan and execute his own death. ON the outside, even though he had problems everyone thought he was normal and happy. He smoked a bit of dope but had no obvious addiction or mental health problems.
The way I am dealing with it is trying to accept it instead of going over and over it in my head. My son was cremated and I still have his ashes here and don't know what to do with them.
I think some people just cant face up to real life, and just want to check out and they are able to switch off an emotions about what it will do to the people left behind. Some people have told me that they think they are doing us a favor as they are a burden.
I figure we have 2 choices, we can let the end of their life also mean the end of our life, or we can reach out and embrace and value life even more . I feel Toby would want me to be happy and get on with my life and I'm sure your brother does to. Maybe they are up in heaven together playing video games and hanging out.
God bless you
Anne
And Mike did love to play video games.
i had a cousin who over dosed on heroin also let me say that for him he got a bad batch of the stuff which was so pure it killed him.
i went through all the same issues in my head about whether i could have done something to save him but heroin addiction over takes ones self control and although he tried to get off of it he never could.
he was a wonderful cousin and delightful to be around and i loved him dearly he was the one i was closest to. my cousin was young also like your brother so i know what you are going through know that there is nothing you could have done to save him sweet guinevere he is in gods loving hands do not be ashamed of the way he died remember him before his addiction and keep those memories close to your heart of him. it is not how we die but what good we imparted to others while we were here.
god bless you may god give you his comfort and joy.
I blamed the medical establishment (for starting chemo prior to the operation, when the poor, exhausted guy already hadn't eaten for 3 weeks because digestions was excruciatingly painful for him). I blamed God. I blamed the ladies who took his love and used it for their own selfish gain.
All I can say is all things are made right with God, and we can embrace God (and our loved ones) in our dreams. We "die", to our physical bodies, every night we go to sleep, and I believe we can astro travel while asleep, in our dreams, so try to "go there" tonight, have a nice dream, and visit him! Give him a big hug for me!