Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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Death & Dying
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Losing your dad

Quita7
Quita7

This is my first post. i really don't open up to anyone, but i am just not good at telling anyone about how i feel. i lost my father going on 7 years now. as time went on i have this pain of losing him he was the glue that kept our family together. i lost him at a very young age i had just starting my life as a adult. now that i am getting older it's getting harder and harder. now i am married planning to have a family with my husband, my mother has met someone new, and i am completely  happy for her. i stuggle with all these emotions of him not being here. my dad was the only person i could talk to about my life my dreams in life. after going on 7 years i feel like i still haven't grieved. it hurts my heart cause i just miss my father. i wanna learn how to let these feeling out cause holding it in is just hurting me. 

Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
One way that people try is to write letters to our departed loved ones. Some go so far as to have a ceremonial "burn" where they imagine the smoke taking your words up to them. I think the real value in this is the act of writing the letters in the first place.

Have you let anybody into your life to "take over" his function of being there for you? Your husband perhaps? There is no disloyalty to your father by doing this.
Quita7
Quita7
I have tried, but i always feel like telling people how i feel is bothering them. Going through something traumatic and explaining how he passed away. he had a boat accident and drowned. everytime i try to let it out i go back to that day he passed away and i can't let go and face what really happened. My husband is there for me as much as he knows how to be. He has both his parents and doesn't know what it's like losing a parent, but he tries to be there as much as he can. I will try the letter. I think it will help.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
My wife lost her dad almost 30 years ago. I did not understand then, I understand much better now that I have lost my parents.

My wife struggles to understand what it means to lose both parents.

I guess my point is that you are right, until a person has suffered a similar loss, they don't really understand. But if we love them then, as the Beatles said, we can work it out. DO tell him how you feel, but in measured sessions. Let him tell you when he is overloaded so you can back off and save things for another session.

I do hope the letter works for you!
Quita7
Quita7
Thank you! yes i need to work on talking about it a little at a time.