Yesterday was July 4th and i was very tired.I was crying all day and I have been very tired.The holidays can be brutual and you must learn to accept them when you are alone.Well,today is 7/5/2010 and I feel wonderful for i did something that noone has every thought of.I have forgiven and ask God for forgiveness and i have stopped blaming Him for Brads death.This is what I believe.Brad was drinking and he was doing meth and he wasnt in sound mind.He was really sick and he wanted out of life.And he was just so desparate I couldnt sober him up and I am glad that Brad is at peace.He choose to end his life.Life can be an adventure.But Brad choose to escape his problem by drinking and drugging and this is just an escape.Brad was never taught this.Accidents do happen.Sometimes you are in the wrong place at the wrong time and fatality happens.Look at the accident with the horses.The horses got spooked.And when a horse gets spook they dont know how to calm down without their trainers.This is why i am against any live animals being in parade.This happened in the city of New York long ago and the family sued.This is what I believe.We are given a mind and we are given a soul and we must make good use of it.We must make our niche in life and we cant blame others for what has happened.Let me state a fact.The plane crash in New Jersey that killed a classmates husband just happened.The plane had mechanial trouble and he never checked the plane for it when he took it.If he checked the plane and saw it has trouble and such..he could have taken out anothr one .now he is dead and she is a widow with all of these bills.How many times when a tragedy happens all of these minister come forth and blame God? This is wrong and i will tell you this.A tornado isnt a act of God.It is an act of nature going wild.When there is wild weather and it hits...you dont know if a tornado will hit.The seniors in that place lost everything,,but I am sorry this is one of the reasons why I refuse to buy a mobile home.Mobile homes and trailer parks are on the rise here,but if there is bad weather...well...you are lucky if you can get insurance.The seniors who retired by the river cannot get flood insurance.I like rivers also,but to be constantly flooded is not funny and it is aggravating.I cannot retire and live in an desolate place all because my partner got hurt in the 10th grade.And some of the people who are in these places lack human companionship and when something goes wrong....they have got no one to turn to.I am going to stay in seattle and i am going to stay in greenwood no matter what and if he doesnt like it,he can leave on the next plane and not come back.Retirement is not a joy for me because i cant get a job.Right now..I am broke and I have to pay more bills and the cycle never ends.I have to talk to my land lord about my rent and i hope that he is sympathic.But he doesnt understand this cycle wasnt caused my God.This was caused by a series of circumtances that were beyong my control and I still have got no control over them.Circumstances beyond a persons control sometimes causes tragedy to blame this and that and to blame God is silly.I believe that the economy will roll around soon and it will be so much better.I believe this because this my faith.I dont believe in some of the preachers who are advocating the end of the world.I mean what do they do? To say the end is coming is silly and then they say send me
20.00 for the tape! What do they know? THE LORD SAID IN SCRIPTURE THAT ONLY THE FATHER KNOWS THE TIME AND THE HOUR.SO LETS START TO LIVE LIFE! Lets start to live again!Let us remember this scripture that only The Father Knows.This may happen 1,000 years from now or 10,000 .We dont know when.So lets now listen to these money grabbers because all they want is your money.I have got my Catholic Faith and MyCreole Faith...I dont believe in this voodoo or magic.