Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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BRIDGET1970 07/20/2011

My dad passed on May 31. I remember the awful phone call from my husband telling me that something had happened to my dad and he wasn't breathing and that I needed to leave work early and come home. My husband met me outside while I was parking the car. The police were at my home as well. As I walked in the house, there sat my dad covered in a white sheet. I had to wait a few hours for someone to pick up his body. Finally, the representatives from the crematory came. When I asked to say one last goodbye to my dad, they unzipped the body bag and pulled back the sheet so that I could see my dad's face. I gave him a kiss and told him that I loved him. Anyway, as of last night, I keep thinking about that phone call and the vision of my dad in the body bag. For me, this was the most psychological trauma I have been through. How do I get my mind to not keep going over this again and again?

deleted_user 07/20/2011

I am so sorry you had to see your dad that way. I really can not imagine. While it's wonderful to also have family and friends for support, after enduring this type of trauma, I would seek out the assistance of a professional who can help you work through this...a therapist/counselor/pastor.
We are here to listen and support you as well. Take care of you.

shur1 07/20/2011

bridget i am sorry for the pain that you are feeling and the haunted memories of that event. i did the same thing i think for me it was because i wanted to remember him when he was here and i kept my self holding on to the last memory that i saw him so i continued to keep myself there and reliving those moments. but eventually i realized that i was punishing myself in placing myself in that dark place and so i moved closer to the light in which i could see a little more clearly and eventually his love filled my heart in which i could carry it onward into the future.

deleted_user 07/20/2011

Oh my dear, I am so sorry for what you went through. All I can tell you is that after each of my parents but especially mom.. I was like that the visions, sounds everything was so up front and in my face. I mean even at work my mind would all of a sudden be there. I could not sleep without dreaming about those memories.
I never thought about it but I think shur1 has a good point, maybe I could not release those thoughts and images because I did not want to let her go.
Amyz74 is right you do need to confide in someone.

deleted_user 07/21/2011

Bridget, I totally understand. As we've spoken before my Dad passed away in June. At least you were given a chance to say goodbye. I can't even say that I was allowed that. The officer that came to my house told me I had to stay out of the house so they could look around and do a report. The paramedics and firefighters put a sheet over my Dad before hand. I wasn't even dressed, I had to change and then I kept avoiding where he was because I didn't want to see it, I want it to be a bad nightmare that I would wake up from. I wish I could have said one last good bye, but I know that I wouldn't have been able to say anything because I'm still so heartbroken and lost without him. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare and just walk down the hall to find him in his favorite chair reading.
Talk to me if it makes you feel better or anyone else who understand. I've found that talking to people who have experienced what we have helps so very much. It's such a change for me. I know it is for you too. I wish I could do something more than just be words on a page. I know what you're going through and it really just is awful and I wouldn't want anyone else to have to go through it either. *hug*

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