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I just lost my dad today, well my stepdad, from a very aggressive form of lymphoma. I know it's going to take a while to heal from his passing but I would like to know how others have dealt with the loss of a parent and how can I help my mom her thru this?
Thanks,
Cheryl
Thanks,
Cheryl
Make sure you take care of you. Cry, scream, talk when you need to. Feel whatever you are feeling.
I am around if you want to talk, please message me if you need to.
I lost my dad 9 months ago and what I did for my mum was to just be there for her. Losing a partner is devastating and the feeling of loniless will eat at her, so be there for her as company is very important.
I also cooked for her. Cleaned for her. Cried with her.
I am not sure what you're doing for your step-dad. Are you burying him or are you going to cremate him? Either way, you must organise those things for her but with her say. What colour does she want the service, how she wants him dressed, size, shoes and so on.
How many people will be arriving? Are you having a wake? Are you going to put your step-dad's name on a death notice on the newspaper for example. Food preperations.
Who is doing the speech?
I know you must be going through a rough patch right now and I know the thought of cooking and cleaning is the last thought in your head. So, order some take-outs. So there will be less dishes to wash and no cooking involved.
As for the cleaning, have you got a partner? Siblings or friends that can help you with that??
Another thing I have learned is that, your step-dads belongings. Do not touch them. If they need to be moved when it comes to cleaning, ask your mother or even put them in a safe place. Do-not wash her bed sheets, my mother craved to smell him when she went to sleep.
When the time comes, you must help her get rid of his belongings. If she doesn't want to, then don't.
Also, when she is ready. See if you can find any bereavment groups in your area. Where she can meet people in a similar situation as her. Go with her, as my mum started to get social anxiety. After a few meetings, let her go on her own.
As the weeks go by, find activities for her to do. Let her grieve, but don't let her sink into dark depression or she will never get out of it.
I hope this has helped you somehow and I am so sorry for your loss.
xxxx
Some of his family members from out of town, that I've never met before, are coming over tomorrow for pizza. One of his cousins had Ovarian Cancer, like I did 3 years ago at 29...., so I'm really excited to see her. Wish it was under different circumstances..... =(
I'm so glad that I live with my mom. I moved back in with my parents when I was sick and just never left. Now I tell her I'm here for good and that I'll never leave her. When I get into another relationship (Which not planning on it for a while due to my jerk of a boyfriend left me when I got sick) that my mom and I are a package deal. LOL
Better get going. Thanks again for reading my post and commenting. =)
I'm here if u need someone to talk to.
Cheryl
My mom wasn't strong enough to have chemo. Less than a week from diagnosis to her passing. They didn't say whether it was double or triple hit. Just her bone marrow was basically filled with it.
I hope you & your Mom are doing ok. Hugs.
My mom and I are doing ok. We picked up my stepdads ashes the other day. We're going to go to the beach later this summer and spread his ashes. He loved going to the beach to fly his kites. He has 300 of them (no joke!).
How are you doing?