Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
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Is ther something wrong with me?

Loriluvsbruce
Loriluvsbruce
I first want to start this off with,I love my husband very much,he was a great guy and an awesome husband.He loved me very much and was'nt afraid to say it in front of anybody.He had heart disease and had his first heart attack at 28.He died in may of a heart attack at age 40.I feared this day the nearly 10yrs. we were together.My problem is I feel like I have accepted his death too easily.I am sad, I cry,I miss him.But I accept the fact that he is gone.I know I cant change it.I would if I could.But I know I cant.I read some peoples stories ,and years have gone by and they still cant move on.I'm worried that I'm not doing something right.Is it wrong for me to have great memories and not long to be in heaven with him.Is it wrong for me to feel comforted knowing he's with his brother and dad now,that also died of heart attacks,that I know he missed them terribly.Bruce had,had a stroke and heart attack at a very young age and had come out of them very well.He lived his life being very active and happy.And I believe that if this last heart attack would have caused him to be less a person he was,he wouldn't want to go on.I dont know if its normal to feel this way after only six mths.And am wondering if anybody else does.Should I not be moving forward so fast......Also I'm afraid maybe I burying my true feelings because I fel
Loriluvsbruce
Loriluvsbruce
Hi,Had a computer glitch,so anyway.I'm afraid I'm burying my feelings because I felt like this before.I dont know if I'm just trying to be tough.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I dont think there is a right or wrong answer when it comes to how you deal with death.
I think you are doing the best you know how to.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I lost both my parents within 9 months of each other 3 years ago. I too feel as if I haven't grieved for mum, since I took care of her for the 4 months before her death. Everyone handles death in their own way. Don't question yourself, you know in your heart that you loved your husband, and he knows it too. Remember all the good things you had while he was alive. I know that I have a hard time some days with mum's loss. You will get through this. You are not wrong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think there is a right or wrong way to grieve. Each person grieves in his/her own way. I bawled my eyes out during my step-dad's death. Even though I was bawling on the inside, the tears didn't come physically with my dad and grandma. I was crying and very heartbroken on the inside with dad and grandma. With my step-dad, I couldn't control my tears. He was the father figure in my life he raised from the time I was 12 yrs to an adult!!! Take time to grieve in your own special way!!!! God Bless you
deleted_user
deleted_user
you know yourself better than anybody, and you'll know when its the right time to get on with your life, how can it be wrong when you have such lovely memories of Bruce you know that he spent the best 10 years of his life with you. And its ok that you wouldn't want to see him in a dilapidated state thats because you love him not in spite of it. Maybe you are burying your feelings but that could just be you protecting you until your ready to deal with them.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is no right or wrong way when it comes to dealing with the loss of a loved one. You are grieving, coping, in your own way. No one but you knows just how much your husband meant to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think everyone has a different path. My husband died in July. Of course, there is grief, sorrow and a sense of propriety about everything. But, I am like you sort of. I also see and hear of those who take longer to mourn. Perhaps we know in our case, that our husbands would not want us to live life alone, sorrowfully. That does not mean we are uncaring and do not have feelings. We are just different.
dilli
dilli
You have answered your own question when you say, "I feared this for ten years"(his death)...you started your grieving process ten years ago!
There is no right or wrong way, there is just grief. We all handle it differently, we all wonder if we "are doing it right". So long as you allow yourself to feel whatever emotion come up, you are doing it right for you. That is all that really matters, that it is right for you.
Loriluvsbruce
Loriluvsbruce
I want to thank everybody for your advise.I guess there is no right or wrong when it comes to grieving.We all do it in our own ways.I do believe that I have been preparing myself for this since the day I met him.Thanks to you all,Lori
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