I am sorry for your loss. I lost my dad five years ago, and when he first passed I was so pissed off really. He died in his sleep. They really don't know the cause so they just said heart failure. I mean he still had my mom to take care of. I still needed him..... But I now am okay with him going home. I hope you can begin to forgive your mom. I am here if you need to talk...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad this past February and I am still dealing with the anger towards him for leaving me and God for taking my dad away from me. I have been told my my grief counselor that this is completely normal reaction to the loss of a loved one. If you need someone to talk with feel free to contact me.

You know, my mom was bipolar and did receive help with her mental illness. I can be angry with her for going off her meds and being hospitalized to get them adjusted, and having everything that could go wrong, GO WRONG, and she died in the hospital. Never did I think she would not come back out. However, for me, it does not bring her back, no matter what I think or how I feel. I doubt very much my mom thought she would die, because she messed with her meds. Mental illness is difficult at best. Forgive your mother, and forgive yourself.

I know exactly how you feel. I know anger is a part of the grieving process, but it seems to be lasting a long time.

HI thank you for being brave enough to bring this up i have not been back on the board for several months because of my anger. My husband died in May. He was brilliant and was trying to prove that death was a quantum paradox, Because of that a lot of weird things occurred at before at and following his death that I could not explain to anyone. I never knew what he had set up as a part of the experiment and what was cause and effect I also do not know if what I was experiencing was normal or a deliberate hoax to cover a darker secret.

There is no one I can talk to no counselor will understand what I am talking about. I fluctuate from anger to numbness

I am having an almost identical situation. My mom died in July and there is no doubt that her death was hastened by her own behavior. She did not follow her Dr's orders. I miss her beyond words and I am also so so angry at her. She said some awful things to us in this past year. It is so hard to sort out the grief from the anger. I just want you to know that you are not alone in what you are feeling. Caroline

There were times when I was so mad at my mother. She too suffered from mental disability.
It was so hard on me when she was not taking her meds like she was suppose to, but with some 20 medications a day, I quess she got tired sometimes.
During her last weeks alive Hospice was a God Sent with her Nervous Meds as she call them. lol

Yea, I get those moments when anger grips me too. I think about how She would say anything when the meds were not right in her body... I get angry at myself also, those times when she was eating her pain pills and Nervous Meds together and she would go way off.
Now I cry about it and laugh sometimes..it's all apart of grief.

I went through a short period where I was angry. Larry should of told me he was taking the boat out for a ride with his friends instead of just leaving. He should of taken his phone. I would of called him - then it might not have happened. Things could of been different. Yeah - I get angry that my life would be much better and different if he wasn't irresponsible! I stopped thinking about that so much now though.

I know how you feel. My mother has terminal brain cancer that started as simple skin cancer. She let it go for years because she didn't want to go to the doctor and kept saying it is nothing. Now she can't speak and is dying any day now and I am very angry at her, on top of the millions of other emotions I'm feeling.

I am definately with all of you on this subject. My husbands mother, grandmother and uncle all died in their early 50's from heart related problems. For 20 years I have told him that I did not want to be a widower in my 50's, and I begged him to go to the doctors for a physical. He would not do it. The week before he died he was home sick with what he said was broncitis and no matter how many times I asked him to go to the doctor he said that there is nothing they can do for it. Well he had a massive heart attack and died. I have been very angry with him for not listening to me and for leaving me alone. In a way it has helped me with the greiving. When I start to cry I then yell at him. I know that I have hit the box holding his ashes a few times in anger as well. He wasn't suppose to leave me alone! We were suppose to grow old together.
So you are not alone in your feelings of anger in any way.
Take care.

I'm not exactly in the same position as you. I lost my fiance James 11 weeks ago due to the complications of psoriasis. It was because he did not take care of himself and go to the doctor like he should that it got so out of control. Anyway, someone suggested to me that I try talking to him and I do. It is helpful most of the time, but the other day I became so angry at him when talking to him. I just felt that only he could leave me like that and leave so much destruction. Anyway, I was mad at the man for dying on me. Go figure. I think we are both normal for feeling like this. At lease I hope so.

peace,

Barbara

I lost my father on 9/1/07 and among everything else that I was feeling at the time anger was definitly there. To me, my father was my hero and he had beaten things in his life that nobody had thought possible. When he went into the hospital for a transplant he developed a massive infection before the surgery and due to this infection they were not able to perform it. Since my father had overcame so much before I didn't understand why he couldn't overcome this. We were almost there. I was so angry that he wasn't fighting harder and that the medicines weren't working, it made me feel that he gave up and didn't care about us. Then I became mad at the doctors for not doing more. I am no longer angry, just sad but what you are feeling is completely understandable and I am sorry for your loss.

Maybe to ease your pain and anger, you could forgive your mother for the things you felt she did wrong in her life. Like not taking care of body and other issues she could have taken care of. Love her anyway. My brother committed suicide in 2003. I was angry with him for a long time. He was 5 years younger than me and we were close. Until, I realized I couldn't change things, I had to forgive him. I was miserable until I was able to do that. I love him for the person he was. Sometime people don't always make good choices. Please love her and forgive her. I hope you find the peace you need.

If you don't forgive your Mom you wont be able to move on. Having said that, I do understand being angry and you probably feel cheated. Your Mom didn't do anything to you on purpose she was ill. I think you know had she been in her right mind this never would have happened.

Hey, everyone-

What a great bunch you are! I really appreciate the varied advice and compassion you have shown me. I realized something tonight: that anger is sometimes a foil for the massive pain that threatens to tear me apart. The anger gave way to tears today and I allowed myself to miss her so much. Imagine: 36 years old, independent as all hell, and wanting my Mommy. I guess I'm entitled, though!

I am so sorry for the losses you all have endured. Here's a giant hug to include all of you! I guess we'll get through these difficult times together, right?