Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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Death & Dying
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Infant Loss

armom
armom

Hello. I'm 32. My 7 month baby girl passed away 15 months ago. It's been over a year but the pain is still the same. I feel as if there's an elephant sitting on my chest 24/7. I don't scream and weep like I used to but I feel as if I should. Losing a child changes you. I feel like I don't belong here or anywhere. People don't get it, they expect you to move on and looked puzzled when you bring up your dead baby. 

vwidow
vwidow
Hi ar. I've no real idea the like to losing a young child. I lost my husband and every loss is different I guess. I feel like this partner loss is the worst, but I don't know how you feel. Hopefully you take some comfort in the fact that she is in God's presence. ("In his presence is fullness of joy.") Yet I suppose you are in the same boat as Rachel weeping for her children: "She refuses to be comforted, because they are not." God be close to you to ease the void somehow...
dobiedots
dobiedots
You don't have to move on. This is something that you deal with every day. The pain is real. Comfort yourself as much as you can and remember the good times with her. Take youre time, don't let anyone tell you to move on.
fsugrad05
fsugrad05
Hi armom, I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my infant son and I completely understand how you are feeling. It has been a year and 9 months since I lost Max and some days it still feels like yesterday. I don't know where you are located but I have been going to a local support group called Amend. I think the national group is called Mend, but please consider finding a local support group to go to. It has helped me tremendously and has connected me to a whole network of people who have experienced what I did and know exactly how i feel. Healing hearts to you.
Community LeaderThePepperMan
ThePepperMan
My mom lost what would have been my kid brother when I was about 3 or 4. I have no memory of her being pregnant, nor of the aftermath. My parents hid it all from me. But then that was the way it was done 60 years ago. (God, just typing that number makes me feel old.)

I have no idea if suppressing it worked for her or not. Then about 50 years later my sister died. Mom and dad took it very hard, much like you are doing now. Mom had one foot firmly planted in dementia, so that complicated things for her. Dad was mostly OK mentally, but he still took it very hard.

The thing is that we are not supposed to lose our children. We humans seem to deal mostly OK when we lose people from our parents and grandparents generation; it hurts, but we expect it as we and they grow older. But not our children. So I think that part of getting through the loss of a child requires confronting this emotion, that of not supposed to lose a child. It can temper all the other emotions of loss.

So no, I can not relate directly to your loss. But I am so very sorry that you are going through it.

Gentle hugs