On November1st...2013 ,it will be 26 years that my father died.My father was 71 and he was in very ill health and he did not tell me.He came home from the hospital and died.My father leaned forward...then he was gone and he did something that I will never forget...my father died in my arms.It was very traumatic for me and I was 40 years when this happened and noone seems to understand.Noone.Not even my therapist.My father wasnt like the hard core older generation.He liked rock and roll.My father liked Sha Na Na and collected their records and one night he saw their show.My father liked Bowzer.He would laugh at his antics and then he sing along with the show.What other person does this? He loved to read and read 1 book a week.He read various newsletters and magazines.He loved the Life magazine and gave me the magazine of the Kennedy Assassination and I still have it.Dad never felt well in his life.He had a football injury and in those days...it was hard.My grandparrents did not know that he played.(Neither did my mother) and he loved to be part of the family.Dad gave me a work ethic.He believed in the value of work.And he told me when he retired how boring it is and told me to get part time jobs to supplement my income.He was the glue who held the house and family together.He loved dogs and cats and loved to have my nieces over.He loved being a grandfather and wanted to be a great grandfather..but he never lived to see his 9 great grandchildren.I have been crying all day long and
long and wondering when this pain will end.But when you lose a
parent it is hard.I feel so alone and I feel abandoned and I feel like
noone wants me around.I am trying to be a nice person and do the
things that my dad wanted me to do and I am singing every Thursday night and I still read a book a week and i try to be just as interesting as he was and try to be the wonderful person like he was and now I know
that Brad never loved me and guys...a fathers love is rare.So when
you loved one loses her father it is up to you to be a man and understand that a father makes and shapes the character and when that is gone....Us Daughters have got noone else to talk to.ANd this is
when I will end.Thanks/.Happy Halloween!