oh hun none of this is your fault we cant know what will happen... my mum passed in september and 2 days before she died we were talking about what we were going to do together.... because she was so restless due to fluid build up I suggested she had morphine to help relax her 2 days later she died..... i feeel guilty but know what i did was the right choice and so was yours i know it seems it wasnt...... love and hugs to you xxxxxxxxx

I am so scared, I really dont want to wake up anymore without him. I only stay because I know my daughters have only me now, but i am so alone here in queens and unable to drive or walk anywhere to talk to someone due to my disability. I am better off gone.

I am very sorry for your loss. It is not your fault what happened believe me I have battled with guilt after losing my husband. I lost Mike six months it will be 7 months Nov. 1st. He was ill and I thought there was so much more I could have done and that I should have forced him to go to the hospital. It is normal to have the feelings of not wanting to go on. The group here on DS WIdows and Widowers has really helped me. They understand how I am feeling. You are not better off gone! You can message me if you like I try and check in everyday. Hugs to you Margo

I am so sorry for your loss, don't even know what words to use to comfort you. Just don't be hard on yourself and think that you did something wrong, because he would not want you to do that. Hope your daughters are helping you so you can go on with life. I think this is the hardest part, that our life continues and it is hard to do. I am thinking about you, just be kind to yourself. Adios enchanting123

Honey I feel your pain I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my husband on Monday morning. I am still in extreme shock. Please keep the comfort of your family close. I am here for you if you would like to talk. Amanda

I can identify with you in every way. I too lost my life partner after 45 years if sharing everything. Like you, I am housebound due to being unable to walk, but UNlike you, I also have no family left at all. The holidays look very bleak to me, nobody to speak to, never mind share a meal with! This is not a pity party, just a reminder that you are never in a situation unknown to someone else. You made the right choices, and your loved one is now free of pain and suffering, and still very close to you. Peace be with you. BARB xxxxxxxxxxxx

I understand your feeling that you don't want to live any more but YOU HAVE NO GUILT IN THIS SITUATION. When faced with a life and death decision, you did what anyone would have done. How can you refuse a ventilator?? Was the wrongful death (negligence) on the part of the doctor? Possibly and in future you might want to pursue this but the facts appear to be that each one of us has a time: day and hour. I've done an awful lot of research (years) on NDEs (Near Death Experiences) and had my own at age five. It appears that the soul is spared the agony of physical death, it "escapes" the body. Your first anniversary IS STILL TOMORROW. Right now, you need in person assistance and comfort. Find a grief counselor as soon as you can and ask your family physician for medication (anti-anxiety, sleep meds like Remeron which has no side effects and half of a 15mg pill will help you sleep, plus it has anti-depressant effects). You have daughters: you have an obligation to them and they have one to you. You should not have to travel to the, they should come to you. Call them, tell them how you feel, be totally honest. Accept the comfort, love and care of those around you. You can, you must, get through this.

I lost my fiance 5 months ago - he had a heart attack - he died 2 months before our wedding. I know you do not know how to go on without him, I know you do not want to wake up anymore... I felt that too - and still do sometimes... I also believe that my fiance (and I am sure your husband also) would want you to live your life. I am not doing a very good job of it right now - but I am trying to function. I have 2 children I need to care for and I would not want them to grow up without me. They have lost enough - he was not thier father - I was married before - but we were together for 8 years. I cannot promise that this will get better - it hasnt for me yet - but people tell me it will. I will keep you in my prayers. hugs & kisses

Deb

Wow that is so sad and saying i am sorry again will not make it better for you. My daughters called him their dad since I was divorced ten years ago and Joe treated them like gold. They too, can not live without me, especially the younger single daughter. I am with her again this weekend at her apt. She seems to need me as bad as I need her right now. We just hang out watchign movies. I pray to God that he lets me learn to laugh and love again. Divorced and widowed by age 50...seems like that is all the love God will allow one person in a lifetime...Bless you and hope keep moving on. Love Ann