In May of 2014..it will be 5 years that I lost my Brad but things are happening and I have decided to move on.I have given away all of his clothes and I gave away his shoes to a homeless man.I am going to go to school in January and it will be something that I like.I cannot cry nomore.I have stopped my grieving.I will always love Brad...but now it is time for me to move on and go on with my life.I have been called selfish..but noone truly understands.Noone will ever experience the pain of sudden death nor my friends here never experience the pain of a suicide.Brad had a great deal of problems that could have worked out.There are many places here where he could have gone to and the local churches now are having men groups.The men groups are led by a professional and they are free.He would have shared his feelings with other men and they would have helped me also.I will always love Brad.He did more for me besides my late father then anyone else,..but life must go on and I must pursue my goals that I had before i met Brad and was forced to abandon because of money problems and now I can do it and I am going to do it and noones going to talk to me to say I am too old to go to school and I am not talking no for an answer! I have decided to move on and not listen to anyone because people today just dont keep in touch and some do not follow their dreams.Have a goodholiday and wonderful 2014...as I forge ahead in my new life!