Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

i don't want to go to school....

jasgall
jasgall
we buried him yesterday...actually, everyone else buried him. i stayed home because of severe stomach pain. (i have been tentitively diagnosed with GERD ). hopefully, that will give us some answers. the scope has been rescheduled for next friday. what kind of a niece am i if i MISSED HIS FUNERAL? i missed the wake too. stupid cerebral palsy.stupid inaccessible convertable. stupid lift van that doesn't work. stupid mother fucking wheelchair. since i was already excused for the funeral, i escaped to the disney store and barnes and noble. mwy eating disorder was screaming at me all day. i was incredibly late to school today, so i am here...trying to wrap my head around how a very healthy 61 year old man who manages his diabetes beautifullu drops dead on his porch. i want to be numb. i want to stop feeling. i want to binge. i want to scream. i don't know if i want to recover from EDNOS. i can't stop crying. help me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi jasqall,
I am sorry for your loss and all that is going on in your life right now. I understand many times it can just seem to be too much.
I have screamed at life to stop and just let me off...but of course, I am still here.
There are no easy answers. I hope you will be as understanding and kind to yourself as you would someone else if they were in your shoes. You are not a bad person because you did not go to the funeral or the wake.
Please take care of yourself and give yourself permission to do what you need to do for you.
God Bless,
lady
beatrice99
beatrice99
Oh my goodness, please ease up on yourself! I'm sorry for the loss of your uncle but, don't feel so bad about missing the funeral. I went to my Dad's funeral last year and don't even remember it! Sounds like you've got some health issues going on. The stress is probably making things a whole lot worse too. As long as your uncle knew how much you loved him, that's all that matters. My Mom was 62, and seemingly healthy and had a massive heart attack and passed. This was years ago but, it was also unexpected. When God says it's time to come home, our time on earth is over. Take care of yourself. I'm sending you a bunch of hugs...hope they reach you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't blame your self. If you are sick and can't attend the services, then it was meant to be, but be gentle on YOURSELF. My hubby was a healthy 50 year old and just before Easter this year my hubby got sick, developed pneumonia, and a secondary infection called Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS) and 19 days after checking him into the ER and ICU he had fought a great battle but just could not fight any longer, there was nothing more for the Drs to do and on April 28th we had to decide to turn off the ventilator he was on. 19 days in the hospital ... and he was gone. We don't understand why, we just have to pick up the pieces and find a new normal to live.

Remember ... be gentle on yourself! Colleen