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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

I Can't Believe People

MamasChild1
MamasChild1
I can't believe the cruelty of people. A friend, who lives upstairs and not only helped with my Mom during her last months but helped me through all the grief after - just set me up. Perhaps, unintentionally. Insisting today about driving me to my Mom's grave this weekend (which I hadn't planned and wanted to do closer to Christmas, since it's an expensive trip). Then, tonight coming down suddenly and leaving me a note saying see you Monday - having changed their mind about the whole thing. It wasn't my idea to begin with, and I'm left in the air anticipating not being alone tomorrow. I'm so alone here. It's cruel to do that. Better not to promise at all.
ramm
ramm
If this is her normal personality then you don't need friends like that. That truly wasn't fair of her. And then just to leave you a note! I do believe we all have people like that in our lives. If this is a normal behavior of her's, I'd re-think my friendship with her. We feel bad enough with our loss, we don't need anyone dragging us down farther then we already are. If it was a one time thing, then maybe she wasn't thinking and you can excuse it. We feel bad enough, we don't need others making us feel worse. Hope you have a better day.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are totally right. They should have not promised unless they meant it. A promise made is a promise kept, come hell or high water.
I mean we all have things come up sometimes that cause us to have to break a promise but it should be dome with remorse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Perhaps there was a legitimate eason for it. It would help to just check with him or her whether everything was all right. I'd like to think that this behaviour, if it's not typical or usual of your friend, stems from a problem your friend may be undergoing. Try to knock on the door or find some excuse to see if your friend is ok...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've learned through the years of my life, to always keep a promise. When I say I promise something, I mean it and I keep it. Unfortunately many people use the word promise in such a casual way. I'm pretty sure all of us here have experienced that casual use of the word and have felt the hurt from an unkept promise. Mamaschild, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you have to be alone and feeling as you do. You're right for coming here. Many days, the people here, my friends have got me through some really dark times. We are all here for each other. Wrap your arms around yourself and think that its each of us giving you a much needed hug.
deleted_user
deleted_user
what a cheap shot - so sorry.

a person who i thought was my best friend (of 15 yrs) simply stopped communicating with me approx 4 months after my m's death. a year later, she asked to meet me for coffee. after a lot of thought i decided to go ahead. one of the many things she said was that she stopped the friendship bcs i'd seemed uninterested in our friendship for the final few months of it. uh..............those final few months were immediately after my mother died. i think it all just scred the hell out of her, caused her to think of her own mother eventually dying, etc. people can be damn weird abt loss.
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh, man, I can'at believe ppl either---what is WRONG with them?!

Hope you got thru it okay.

I know what you mean.

How many friends have I gone thru---who let me down?

I know!

Billi