Bereavement Support Group
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You know when you hear of people who had a terrible relationship with someone close to them. Then when they pass they supposedly have the hardest time with it all?
Do you believe thats always true?
For example. I spoke to my friend who is also my age (25). She lost her mother tragically in a car accident 3 years ago. Her mother had drug problems and their relationship was strained so she said that was especially hard. But now she says she has gotten to a point where she is ok with everything.
So if she can get through it, shouldn't I be able to? I had a great relationship with my Dad. I appreciated him and showed it. And we had time to prepare for his death. I told him I loved him a million times, and told him I will tell my kids all about him, and just thank you for being the best daddy ever. Think this helps the healing process? or what?
I'm just trying to understand the psychology of it all. It would seem like if you had a strained relationship it would make it easier because you can just focus on all the times you didn't like the person? What do you think?
Do you believe thats always true?
For example. I spoke to my friend who is also my age (25). She lost her mother tragically in a car accident 3 years ago. Her mother had drug problems and their relationship was strained so she said that was especially hard. But now she says she has gotten to a point where she is ok with everything.
So if she can get through it, shouldn't I be able to? I had a great relationship with my Dad. I appreciated him and showed it. And we had time to prepare for his death. I told him I loved him a million times, and told him I will tell my kids all about him, and just thank you for being the best daddy ever. Think this helps the healing process? or what?
I'm just trying to understand the psychology of it all. It would seem like if you had a strained relationship it would make it easier because you can just focus on all the times you didn't like the person? What do you think?
if one is able to be ok after ones dies it is only because forgiveness in the persons human faults has come into play. if forgiveness is not achieved then misery and guilt will always remain with them even if hidden from the world. one can hide things from each other but never can one hide from god he knows you better than you know yourself.
karisaba the love and compassion you showed your beloved father will never be un noticed by god himself. for your reward is in heaven store up treasures in heaven for there will your heart be also there is where you father is ...............we shall all see our loved ones again but not now to love greatly is to find the courage and strength to set them free and let go..........................
continue to give him thanks for all the wonderful things he imparted to you and taught you it shows that he taught you very well he did his work well with you and i am sure that god was well pleased by your father and you
god bless you and keep you close and guide you into a more beautiful place to continue your personal Journey in this life.
My dad treated my brother terrible (my brother passed 35 years ago at the age of 16 in a motorcycle accident) and my dad has never gotten over it (my dad will be 80 tomarrow). I think my dad feels a lot of regret for his actions and it is eating him alive (literally). My dad refuses to get help or talk about my brother...God knows I've tried talking to him about getting help, but my dad is very stubborn.
I on the other hand have gone through many losses and was on good standing with all of them and yet handle loss differently (I have had help by a grief counselor for my brothers death after I had a breakdown over it).
I definately believe there is no way around the grieving process (I already tried and failed miserablly). There is no shame is asking for help if you are having difficulty processing the grieving. There is no time frame in healing from the loss of a loved one, but I can assure you that you will get through it. You need to be patient with yourself and feel the feelings (I know that sucks). Don't compare your healing to others...your story is your own and you will heal when the time is right.
My kids and most of my friends never met my brother, but they have all told me that they feel they know him through my stories (and tears still fall when I tell them) that keep him alive.
I use to write poems about my brother...but that got to painful...so I just have some memoribilia and pictures scattered about my home. I use to wear his clothes so I would feel close to him...but those days are way behind me (I gained too much weight...lol).
You will never get over your dad, but you will learn to live differently.
The holidays are almost upon us. Make plans ahead of time so that you won't be alone. Perhaps make or buy a special ornament (if you are Christian) to hang on the tree to honor your dad. Talk about him to others (don't target just one person...find a few you can share with). Go out with friends...even if you don't feel like it...it will take your mind off it for awhile. Keep busy and don't sit idle.
Your dad would want you to go on...to be happy...to be the best you can be as you have a whole life ahead of you.
You sound like you were a wonderful daughter and I'm sure your dad is beaming on the other side ((((((((Hugs)))))))))