Taking care of so many deaths at such a young age has got to be hard on you. Topping that off with taking care of a grandparent with dementia can only add to the stress.

I'm just curious, why did it have to be you taking care of her? Are there other family members who can help?

Be kind to YOURSELF. It sounds like this all happened the last 2 years. Most likely you're still in the shock phase.

so sorry for your losses... and all you are coping with... take care of you... try to find things to do that allow you to feel happy in the moment... surround yourself with supporters... call a good friend... counselling... time... you have so much on your plate...be sure to take care of yourself and your basic needs... eat... get rest... it will get easier but be gentle to yourself...

My grandmas has lived with my family since I was very young.my mom was the youngest of 5. She still has 3 living children but they really don't help. But the house my mom and dad died in was left to me and my older sister. And she already owned her own home so me and my family move in. But one of my aunts comes over 1 day a week. Have seen the others in months.and the one whom comes once a week mentioned a nursing home.. That would kill my gma.

You've spent too much time around death and the elderly.

Do you have small children? If so, spend more time with them. They're new life, in all its magic and wonderment.

If not, hang out with children, or at least younger people in their teens and 20s. That's magic time too. Yes, a lot of teens and 20-somethings have a cavalier disregard for their lives, as they abuse themselves and each other with all kinds of unhealthy practices, but there's a youthful energy there.

Join a gym, a dance class, a yoga class, expose yourself to some positive energy.

Sometimes you have to do what you think is best for your grandmother rather than what you think she wants.

I agree that being in a nursing home is not ideal. (Both my parents died in nursing homes.) But look at the toll it has taken on you and your family. With dementia it never gets better; there will always be days that are better than others, but the time will come when you are simply not able to give her the care that she needs.

So perhaps if help to think in these terms: it is not a question of if you put her into a nursing home, it is a question of when.

Make appointments to interview some nursing homes in your area. It will cost you nothing. Ask them questions about the care they give, get a tour, and also ask them what sort of things they look for when evaluating that it is time to move your loved one into a facility. Be upfront, tell them that you believe that your grandmother would not want to be in a nursing home. See what they say to all of this.

Take your husband with you. This will help him be part of the process, and it will help him understand just how deeply this is effecting you.

Obviously they want your business, so their answers may be suspect.

I will look into those things. Yes this is taking a toll on me. I have two children 1,he 15 he has been getting into a great deal of trouble except this year. He actually is doing great. He joined JROTC and Its doing wonderful things.and I'm very thankful. 2. I also have a 6 year old daughter. She started kindergarten this year she lives it. I except when she was having nightmares from being bullied at school. My kids are good kids muy son has help wonderfully with my gma. She will listen to him mor than me most days. But with my husband I actually am surprised he's still by my side. I have not been the best person. I've yelled, cussed, told him to get out, but yet he's still right here by my side. He told me that he knows this is not me and what would he of he was to leave me in my time of need. I've become so negitive, I've lost my self confidence. I used to never doubt myself. Now I can't seem to make a decision on my own. Yesterday was a rough day my doggie died...just feeling like I've done something along the way yup deserve this.

You've got to get more positive. You don't deserve any of this. It's life and sometimes it sucks.

See if you can spend some alone time with your husband. He sounds great. Get out and play with your daughter.

I'm feeling like you. I've lost only one parent recently but understand the mood. My mother is still alive with dementia. Sometimes I'm just going thru the motions. I've been picky and testy to my husband too.

I'm so sorry for your losses. I know the loss of a pet can be just as bad. Things have to get better. Best to you and your family.