I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in 1980 and my father in 1988. I am 62 now. My faith has kept me going knowing that I will see my parents again and that they are in a better place. Your father is watching over you and is still with you. (((Big hugs)))

Hi, I lost my mum last August, still feel the pain as acutely today. A friend told me that you never get over losing someone you love but somehow you get through it. So many things remind me of mum, a smell, a song, a place, reminders round every corner. Some days I just give in to the pain and will have a bad day, other days I distract myself and I get through. I still have my Dad, he is 83 now and needs quite a bit of care, I promised my Mum I would look after him and that's what I am doing, this gives me another focus. The one you lose leaves a gaping hole in your life,good days and bad days. You are not alone, so many of us know and understand your pain. I often come here and read the posts and can very often find great advice, or cry and share another's pain but always gain a little strength, knowing I'm not alone.

I lost my father Aug 6th of this year due to a massive heart attack that took him out instantly. He was working in the yard when it happen and he still had his work gloves on when I got to him. A neighbor informed me he couldn't find a pulse and I knew he was gone by the color of him. Just seeing him like I did is a image I just cant hit a delete key and it be gone from my memory, so I have to live with that the rest of my life. I always hope that it's just a bad dream that I cant wake from, but it's all for real and I know this is just something I will have to learn to deal with.

Dear CaringCara, first off I am truly sorry for your loss; we recently lost my mom (January 22, 2014) and I can honestly tell you that there is not one day that goes by that I don't breakdown. Please keep in mind that we all grieve differently and what may help some will probably not help you. There is nothing wrong with crying or breaking down; it's all part of the grieving process and sometimes a good hearty cry helps me get through the day.
As far as Holidays go, we've already gone through my parent's anniversary and are now dreading Thanksgiving, her birthday (Dec. 15) and Christmas. My parents were happily married for 55 years and as much as I try to be there for my dad and my sister, it's hard when you are also going through the same pain; however I often do find some comfort in knowing that my mom is no longer in pain and is in a better place watching over us until we are once again reunited.
I'm sorry, I am sitting here rambling on about my loss and haven't really addressed your concerns.
All I can say is that you dad is no longer in pain and is watching over you and your mom.
Please don't hold back your tears and never apologize to anybody about your grieving. Try to enjoy the holidays by celebrating your dad's life.
You never get over the loss, but you eventually learn to live your new life around the void.

I'm sorry for your loss. My mom died a couple of years ago and after the first year I collected everything about her that I could get my hands on, photos, art, journals, etc and put it all in a book for my family. Even her old report cards from school and doodles from text books and such. I used a scanner for much of it and restored old photos as well and researched her family right back to pre 1880's in Europe. I found the work to be a real comfort, and now I have a document with all the info about a particular period of her life in one place. It helped me get through the awful times of grieving while I got to know her in a different way. I felt like she was guiding the process too. I just finished it and presented it to her extended family and they love it. I am glad. And my dad just died this afternoon and perhaps I will do something similar for him one day. I don't know. But I do know that working on my mom's book helped me through the many months of looking after my dad while he was in hospital.

My Mum died of Parkinson's on 28 January 2008. (Dad was killed in the Northern Ireland 'Troubles' on 29 November 1989) I've had to deal with so much in my life and have many times left life life wasn't worth living.

What I used to get me through was poetry and reaching out for support.

my name is vader.I am 67 years old and old enough to be your grandmother.I am sorry for your loss and I lost my father,mother and brother 20 years apart. my father was sick for quite some time and he was in a lot of pain,.He wanted to be released and it is selfish to wish that a person in this pain to live out their lives longer.DAd was 71 and I was 40 when he died.His death has left a gasping hole in my heart that I can not cure.It was be 27 years on the 1st of November.And i miss him and I dont know what to do when the anniversary comes.I am in a very bad depression over the anniversary and where I am there isnt any good help.All I have is daily strength and the people on there.I come here everyday and i read thegrat advice and then I do no feel so bad....but i realize now that my beloved father has passed and I must move on.Vader.

I am sorry for your lost I know what you mean. I am 53 and my dad died July 2, 2014 of Kidney failure. I cried the first day but will not allow my self to mourn him. I just wish I got to say good bye but God would not have as such. Writing this makes me sad but angry at the same time. I am seeing a therapist and we are discussing bereavement as well as other unfinished business I had with my dad. I love my daddy and I miss him very much.

Goingthru, what a great idea about getting your mom's stuff together and making something for your family. I might try to do that.

CaringCara, I wish I could offer hope and ideas about how to get through the holidays, but like you, this will be my first without my mom and I wonder how we will get through it.

Reading through everyone's posts, reading their story and how you all are doing... I don't know that we can ever find solace, but I pray that we all get to that point and am thankful this is a place where we can share our baggage.

Here I am again still in therapy still writing the letter to my dad to say good bye. Still missing him very much. Yes the holidays are coming and this is the first holiday without my dad. I plan to be away for the holidays accept Christmas I must be home for my grand babies. I am lucky to have a loving husband and children to support me in this time of grieving.I hope those out there have the same if not have faith in GOD.

I lost my sweet father 3 weeks ago. I am still in a fog.... when does this lift? When do I quit walking around in circles all day? I understand your pain and if you find any answers please enlighten me.

Tears leak our humanity. They are beautiful and show we care. Why hide them? Also, there is no right way or wrong way to grieve...there is no timeline or ticking clock. Accept you may cry during the holiday season and allow it to be okay. Know you are doing so because you loved someone that much and it will actually provide a space for others to be real. I can tell you from experience, the more you hold it in, the more it will kick your ass later. What you resist persists. Strength doesn't come through having it all together all of the time...it comes from allowing yourself a safe space to be human and need other people. It's why I'm here...I can't do it alone.