Hi Maggie, I'm still searching myself. I lost my mom earlier this month. I lost my fiance years ago, and what helped me a lot was some grief counselling, and especially a grief support group. I found out one of the local hospices offers a specific course of grief group counselling for daughters who have lost their moms! There might be something like that in your area? I still haven't made the call, but it's through Sutter Health (I checked online for what grief groups they offer). I'm still finding my way - I'm doing a lot of staying at home and staying in bed, which I know is not helping me any! I feel better when I go out and at least see one or two human beings each day!! I'm watching for anxiety and panic attacks, and so far I'm ok. I suffered those when I lost my fiance. I hope you find some help, and I'm so very sorry you lost your mom! Hugs to you

Hi,

I lost my mom 5 years back, although I wasn't as young as you are. It was very hard to comprehend the loss at first. She was my best friend, the sibling I never had. She passed away suddenly, making it even more difficult to believe, changing my whole life in a day, literally!

I am no longer in the deep hole of mourning, although once in a while, grief pays me a visit and I cry my heart out.

So here's what I did:

1. I acknowledged at first and then accepted the fact that mom wasn't coming back for good.
2. I thought "what kind of life would mom want me to have". Better still, if I were dead instead of her, what kind of life would I want her to have? The answer was "a happy one". This let me try to be happy.
3. I let go of my guilt of waking up to a beautiful day without her in this world, slowly, but steadily.
4. I spoke of her, with everyone, old and new acquaintances. Also, I found Dailystrength shortly after she passed and the wonderful people here have helped me more than words can describe.
5. I surrendered to the idea that I will see her again. Maybe through my kids or sometimes in myself and most importantly, in another life.

This is not easy, but preserve your mom's memories, talk about her and take one day at a time. Cry when the tears roll, it will always make you feel better. Remember, your mom would want you happy. Positive thinking grows on you, it will eventually take you out of the hole.

Lastly, there is a group on Dailystrength, "Motherless Daughters", do join the group. Read through the posts, thoughts and wisdom shared by numerous women who lost their mom', you will understand that it's not a lonely journey, there are a lot of us walking with you, on the same road :)

Take care sweetheart, hugs and love
J