i am so sorry for your loss i have often wondered why these things happen to so many families but god works in ways that we cannot understand but i know this that your little precious boy is in heaven playing happily with all the other children look up to heaven and give your heart and love to god for there is where your beloved son is also

god bless you and keep you and comfort you ............................

Sweetheart; that must be devastating. Sorry is not enough, I don't think any words will bring you comfort right now. All I know (after having experienced the deaths of five immediate family members), is that time makes this easier. You never ever heal but you'll find it easier to live with the pain as time goes by. I can understand not wanting to talk to anyone about your grief, especially people who are close to you. I'm like that; all I do is hold it in and express myself on paper. We will never know why God decides to take away our loved ones especially kids that young; there are so many unknowns in this world. Just know that God has a reason and a plan for everything he lets happen in our lives.I saw a story on Oprah where this family lost three of their little kids in one day, needless to say; they were beside themselves with grief.Please try to be strong for your other kids, I promise you it does get easier with time. Hugs and prayers to you.

I added my response earlier but I would like to suggest that you join this other group http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/formomsonly. Its a support group for moms going through what you're going through. Again I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish I had the right words to tell you just how sorry I am for you. (((HUGS)))

i dont understand it either. on may 13th i lost my 20month old nephew. the babysitter was alone with him and drs said its the worst case of shaken baby syndrome theyve ever seen.

people tell me hes in a better place and hes at peace well that doesnt soothe me at all.
he was at peace here. he wasnt suffering here. we all loved him.

i will never come to understand how babies and children can die.

im sorry for your loss and i know nothing i say will make you feel better because honestly everything that was said to me hasnt made me feel better. all i know is i have taken so many pictures and videos of jonathon and that makes me feel a little bit better than anything else.and also being around people

I lost my daughter on December 22, 1988, she was 15 days old and died from SIDS, and I always said thank god I lost her then and not when she was 5 or 10 or even 20. No words can ever make you feel better or more at ease with what happened. People tell me all the time that they could never imagine happening to them what happened to me, but honestly I can say I can honestly say I could never imagine that happening to me now, my children are 21, 17 and 10. Recently my dad passed away which I've had a harder time with because I've known him my whole life. I've had people say "he's in a better place" yada yada yada, nothing people tell me like that ever seem to comfort me. It just plain sucks, I feel the same way, it's easier for me to deal with it on here with other people going through the same experiences than it is to me to talk to my friends telling me he's in a better place. He was 79, visiting in florida enjoying life, it wasn't expected and it hurts so bad, he's left a whole bigger than I could ever imagine. Time heals all is what people also say, BULLSHIT is what I say. When someone is taken from you on earth you never ever forget that emptyness they leave you. I guess it won't be until i see them again one day til I understand why all the pain was caused here. I'm so so sorry for your loss and I can't tell you one thing that's helped me, today is 4 weeks since I lost my daddy, 1 week since we buried him. The pain just seems to linger. I cry every day still....I'm sure that won't stop anytime soon, I don't want to get out of bed most of the time but I have to, I still have family that depends on me. But life definately isn't the same anymore :( This is a great place to come just to let people hear your story or write a letter to your son, I wrote a letter to my dad a couple weeks ago and need to do it again, so many things I need to tell him and I can't. The thing I would say to you is that your little man needs you right now, so keep strong if not for yourself, for him!!

Sometimes Gods will is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard to understand ! Maybe he had a more important job for your choild to do! God Bless You!

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Unfortunately, your feelings are normal with what you've dealt with, too.

Our situations are a bit different, but I keep my daughter's urn in the next room (her room), and I go kiss it and hold it and rock it frequently. She's been gone almost 9 months now. Losing her was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, too. It's normal to shut down, and it's normal to not even want to continue living without them. I was in shock and shut down for months - eventually, I got where I could function in daily life again. I can finally do things like go grocery shopping without breaking down or getting upset that others have their children yet treat them badly or something.

Time doesn't heal all wounds, but time will help make it a little more bearable. You will always remember, and you will always feel the empty spot where he belongs.... but some day, you'll be able to tell someone about him without crying.

*hugs*, and I'm sorry again. Take your time to grieve as you need - and you and your husband and even your other son will all grieve differently. Take the space you need, and be sure to give them theirs (if that's what they need).

I am so sorry. You are so right, we should not outlive our children. Please know that you are not alone. I am part of the For Moms Only group - a branch of DailyStrength. We have all lost children, some young and some older - my daughter was 37. I have found phenomenal support from the other moms. I don't know how I would have managed without them. Although friends and family care and try to be helpful (and I appreciate them), I know the women on FMO know.
Love and hugs,
Marlene

Wow, I'm so sorry for your tragedy. My parents are asking themselves the same thing. My younger brother, their second son, has been dead 4 years now, of sepsis following cancer surgery. It's hard, but new life has a way of surfacing! Both my sisters have given birth to new sons, and, while no one will ever replace that original person, that particular soul, the new life of these two boys has reinvigorated our family!

There may be a new little one on the way for you and your husband! God has a way of filling these voids...

nothing can prepare someone for what you have gone through. i am so sorry that you have to endure this nightmare. people say you can recover, but the wound will still always be there. please take advantage of whatever counseling is available to you. there are support groups for parents who have lost children. please also consider marital counseling as time goes on -- the death of a child is a strain on any marriage. i don't mean to discourage you, but it is something you should be prepared for.

enough people are killed in car accidents that don't involve alcohol -- i am speechless that people still choose to operate a vehicle after drinking. it only means the penalties are still not harsh enough. my cousin's brother-in-law was killed -- along with his wife and 3 children -- by a drunk driver.

when i first lost my loved ones, i was too devastated to be angry at anyone. your loss happened recently, but maybe after some time has passed you can alert as many as possible to the cause of your child's death. it does have an impact on people. (for example, my father is conservative, but one of his friends lost a child to a gun accident, so his position on gun control is not typical of most conservatives). if you are able to face it, maybe you could counsel teen drivers about what they are holding in their hands when they get behind the wheel.

my therapist said something to me during the period after my fiance died. it might not mean anything to you, but did make a difference to me. he told me to imagine my life is a painting that is always in progress, growing and expanding, each feeling and event adds another color or shape. when something terrible happens, it is an immense, ugly, dark shape that never goes away. but as life goes on, more shapes and colors will be added around it -- every day there will be more to the painting than just the dark ugly shape that dominates it now.

i will quote one of my favorite shows now, as corny as it sounds. the context is 2 characters pondering the death of vincent van gogh:
"every life is a pile of good things and bad things The good things dont always soften the bad things but vice versa, the bad things dont necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant"

i hope this doesn't seem trite to you. it makes me cry every time i hear it, because in addition to losing 2 loved ones i have been close to some very suicidal people.

i don't know if you can be encouraged right now, but please know that you are not alone.